


spidey and the avengers

by britishtwat



Series: avengers fluff stuff :) [12]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Family, Avengers Feels, Avengers Tower, Awesome Peter Parker, BAMF Bucky Barnes, BAMF Natasha Romanov, BAMF Pepper Potts, BAMF Tony Stark, Dead May Parker (Spider-Man), Domestic Avengers, F/F, F/M, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker-centric, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Spidey Sense (Marvel), The Avengers Are Good Bros, Wanda Maximoff & Peter Parker Friendship, natasha and clint are assassin buddies, this is a lot of avengers tags, wanda can draw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:20:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25822018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/britishtwat/pseuds/britishtwat
Summary: 16-year old peter lives alone in an abandoned warehouse, barely scraping enough money to get by, but still doing his duty as a vigilante.until he gets to know the avengers...
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Michelle Jones/Wanda Maximoff, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff & Peter Parker
Series: avengers fluff stuff :) [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854238
Comments: 213
Kudos: 643





	1. an interesting birthday.

**Author's Note:**

> yoohowdy  
> idk shit about america so forgive me if I make some shit up ykno

peter let out a loud whoop as he swung through the air, wind whistling in his ears through his mask.  
he grunted with effort as he gripped the string of web and released, flipping down and landing on to a small building by an alley.  
peter grinned, the fruity smells wafting from the little booth.  
he grabbed a couple of dollars out of his suit pocket and slapped them down on the counter, laughing when he saw the shock and awe on the booth guy's face.

"mango smoothie, please!" he exclaimed brightly, and the ginger man nodded, his glasses nearly falling off his face.  
"o-of course, sir" he stammered, and peter smirked inside his mask.

"hey hey, I ain't no sir" peter chided good-naturedly.  
the man nodded again wildly, busy making peter his smoothie.  
he slid it across the counter, though not without an admiring glance and a "I appreciate what you do for our city"

peter chuckled, tugging his mask up so he could take a sip of the drink. "thanks man" he said, wiping his mouth.  
he saluted and stretched out an arm, shooting a web and swinging away.

he continued to swing through the blocks of clustered buildings one-handed, slurping from his drink.  
peter decided he was allowed a small splurge, hence the drink, for his birthday.  
he was sixteen. to be honest, he felt a lot older. the small instance of his entire family dying tended to have that effect. 

he missed the old days when he would bake a crappy cake with aunt may, and watch whatever he wanted on their laptop together, usually a star wars movie or something with sci-fi, cuddled up on the couch with cheap party hats.  
but that was before may died. he was alone now. 

peter was managing on his own. he had his shitty home, home being a shabby little space in a small abandoned warehouse.

he earned money taking photos for a local newspaper. it wasn't the best job, the wage was awful and not nearly enough for an enhanced growing teenager to be well fed. 

peter stopped briefly to dump his empty cup in a bin. he glanced around at the busy street, noticing a small boy staring at him in wonder.  
he winked, his lens contracting, and the boy giggled delightedly. 

an hour later, he was panting heavily on top of a tall building, roughly half the size of Stark Tower.  
he winced as he studied the gash in his arm where a nasty criminal had sliced him.  
peter took his mask off for a few moments to wipe the sweat off his brow.

he hadn't exerted himself like this in a while. taking on a whole clique of thieves wasn't easy.  
he tugged his mask back down and studied the wound. it wasn't too deep, but it a fair amount of blood was trickling down his suit. fuckin hell, he'd only just washed the thing. 

he braced himself for the pain as he lifted his webshooter on the other wrist and sealed the wound with sticky web.  
maybe he could rest for a bit, he thought, looking out at the bustling city in the cool evening air.  
it was nearly golden hour, and the view, though he saw it almost every day, was still incredible to see. 

"that's a no on the rest" he muttered to himself as his enhanced hearing picked up distant screams.  
he took a few paces back, then sprinted forward, leaping off the roof to swing across the streets.  
peter could see police cars already making their way over from above, and he increased his speed, not wanting to interact with any cops. 

sure, most of them recognised his goodwill and how beneficial his presence was in the city, but he was still a vigilante.  
as he neared the source of commotion, he groaned at the sight before him. 

it seemed some of the avengers were there;he spotted iron man blasting something a couple of rooftops over, and hawkeye perched up on a building, yelling something into an earpiece. 

peter sighed. he had yet to actually interact with the heroes, he usually just helped them from afar by swinging civilians to safety and occasionally webbing up a stray enemy here and there.  
he made sure he swung away before the fight was over to avoid actually facing them.  
he couldn't risk mr stark or any of them figuring out who he was. they'd ship him off to CPS. 

it seemed there was a man in a large mechanised suit, quite like Mr Stark's, but less graceful, as it clunked over to a building and fired a few lasers, causing debris to crash down on to the street where people ran about, screaming. 

if that wasn't annoying enough, the metal robot guy(the suit looked like it resembled some sort of bionic rhino) seemed to be controlling dozens of drones at the same time as exploding the area with a violent cocktail of bombs and lasers.  
the drones were quick, and zoomed through the air, firing bullets out of machine gun-like turrets attached to their metal hides. 

the man roared curses at the avengers as they approached, peter saw (with suppressed childlike excitement) captain america and the falcon dodging blasts and jumping off rubble like pros. 

peter leapt into the air and flipped before landing on top of a car next to a girl about his age in an alley.  
he felt his neck tingle as his spidey sense warned him, and he jumped down and wrapped his arms round her waist before swinging them up on to the rooftop, her shrieking loudly in his ear. ow. 

he set her down, ignoring her fangirling squeals, and scanned for other threats below.  
with a jolt, peter realised one of the avengers hadn't noticed as a drone came up behind them and seemed to zero in on them as a target.  
the winter soldier was up on a ledge like hawkeye, emptying rounds of bullets into the aggressive rhino, unaware as a drone hovered above him. 

peter sprinted forward and jumped, swinging with intense speed across the street, narrowly avoiding a surprised iron man that was aiming his repulsors at the metal droids. 

peter knew he was being risky, being out in the open like this, but the avenger was in danger. 

he saw the winter soldier's eyes widen as he came flying towards him. he released the web and dived towards the ledge, bracing for impact.  
he landed heavily, skidding across the stone, but wasted no time in quickly webbing the drone behind him. 

the drone made several sputtering noises, sparks flying as peter tugged the flying machine in towards him and crushed it with his strength, ignoring the look of shock on mr barnes's face. 

peter grinned as he slammed the machine onto the ground.  
"i-you.. thanks" he heard a gruff voice say, and peter glanced up at the black-clad assasin, who was loosely holding his machine gun and looking warily at him

peter opened his mouth to say something witty when he heard a "heads up!" down below, and captain america's shield came spinning toward them.  
peter fired a web and tugged it toward him, catching the metal disk in his other arm (ignoring the twinge of pain as he flexed the wounded muscle). 

the assassin chuckled, and peter wasn't sure if he should run or not. 

ahhh fuck it. they'd already noticed his presence, from the way he could see several of the heroes talking into their earpieces and looking at him curiously.

"excuse me, mr america sir! you seem to have misplaced your frisbee!" he called down from the ledge.  
the soldier broke a drone over his knee, and glanced up at the spider, amusement flickering on his serious face. 

"very funny" he deadpanned, and peter grinned behind his mask.  
he threw his shield back, and the blonde caught it with ease, shooting him a grateful glance before dashing off to help the black widow. 

"you're the spider guy? the vigilante?" he heard mr barnes say, and peter turned and nodded.  
"the one and only" he quipped, and was pleased to see a faint smile on the man's face.  
the winter soldier had always seemed quiet and distant whenever the avengers were portayed on the news, and having heard of his past, peter wasn't surprised

"you help us out sometimes. thank you for that" the man continued, and peter made to respond with yet another witty zinger when another avenger interrupted.  
"talk later, knuckleheads!" the falcon yelled as he soared past with his wing pack, several drones hot on his tail  
peter smirked. "knuckleheads?"  
the supersoldier beside him rolled his eyes as he replaced the magazine on his rifle.  
"he's right. you sound young, but ive seen you on the news and you seem like you can hold your own out there. care to stay and help?" 

"I got time" peter said coolly, winking at mr barnes before agilely flipping down on to the rubble-littered tarmac below.  
he scanned the fight, surprised the avengers hadn't defeated the robot guy yet.  
it seemed they were fighting to maim, reluctant to actually kill the goon inside the massive suit.

he admired that, and spotting an unstable rooftop groaning on damaged foundations, he quickly swung over.

peter nodded a greeting to the scarlet witch, who was currently standing on the concrete aside the area, pulses of red magic issuing from outstretched hands.  
the bright scarlet tendrils were surrounding the damaged structure, keeping a wave of devastating debris from tumbling onto the trapped civilians below.

peter made quick work of ducking under the mess and reaching his good arm down to help the people out.

a few minutes later, the people were thanking him and the fellow enhanced beside him, sobbing as they ran for safety.  
the maximoff twin sighed with relief as she let the rubble cascade onto the pavement.

she turned to thank the vigilante, but found nothing but an empty spot, and looked up to see him flying through the air from a strand of web before plummeting dangerously low to the ground.

despite their fumbling start, the heroes made quick work of the 'rhino' after that. iron man had apparently found several weaknesses in the great hulking metal suit, but had been hesitant to aim for them and risk hurting the dumbass inside.

it had ended when mr rogers had impressively vaulted off of a car and onto the back of the automaton, planting some sort of device the falcon had tossed him. 

peter had looked away at that point, but the gadget must have been effective as he heard the roar of defeat, the machine keeling over on the street with a heavy clang.

mr stark had tried to engage peter in conversation several times throughout the fight, but peter thought it best to just lay low for the rest of the time;he'd already made an impression.

peter panted heavily, feeling the weight of exhaustion in his bones.  
if he had access to proper meals and nutrition, he'd be three times more effective, this fight wouldn't even faze him, but he had to rely on cheap crap to see him through the day, consequently weakening him and his abilities. 

sighing, he let himself fall back onto the hard rooftop, dramatically lying spread-eagled on the surface.  
he closed his tired eyes as he caught his breath, and listened to the blaring of cop cars and the other disturbed sounds. 

what an interesting birthday.

"yo! webs!"  
he forced himself to open his eyes and sit up, peering down at where the avengers had grouped around the fallen criminal. 

"I'm on a break!" he yelled back to the billionaire who had removed his metal helmet and was looking up at him with an amused expression. 

"you sound like, twelve!" the man snarked, and he saw hawkeye smirk.  
"how old are you, son?" the captain asked, brushing off his shield. peter was surprised at how.. normal.. some of their actions were. like mr barnes leaning on captain america's shoulder to dislodge a pebble from his boot. 

peter sighed and jumped up, opting to sit on the side of the building with his red and blue suited legs dangling off the edge.  
"nu-uh" he said, mockingly wagging a finger.  
"you don't get to know that, señor. part of the whole secret identity shiz" 

he heard black widow laugh and mutter "I like him" to wanda, who grinned. 

"well this has been absolutely smashing - literally - but i better be off. things to do, people to stick down, ya'll know how it is" he exclaimed cheerily, getting to his feet and stretching. 

iron man began to protest, but wanda spoke up. "thank you for your help, spidey" she called, waving. 

peter grinned at the nickname, did the stupid salute again, and flipped away.


	2. petey on patrol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter saves some people from a fire.. that's it really lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, the suit I'm imagining peter in probably looks more like Andrew Garfields's, as peter put it together himself.
> 
> also you guys can suggest a name for his AI, if you'd like :))

god, im getting really fuckin tired of rice, peter thought.

he was sat on his squeaky chair in front of his desk, feet up on the table, shovelling the food into his mouth. he was absolutely starving.

he was proud of the setup in front of him - several battered old computers linked up to various devices that allowed him to listen in to police radios, and a mess of many vials and beakers of chemicals he used to make his web fluid.  
amongst the mess of notes scattered on the desk were many pages of computer codes and evaluations peter had written to create his very own AI  
it had taken him months to scavenge in alleys and dumpster-dive to retrieve his computers, and he felt guilty about stealing the chemicals from his old school lab, but he needed it more than they did.

peter sighed as he felt the gauze on his cheek rip from his energetic chewing, and he set down his empty bowl beside the battered microwave he'd managed to construct himself, and padded along to where he kept his medkit.   
he had encountered a particularly rude gang of teenagers in a rough area on patrol last night, and they happened to be quite fond of bricks. 

reapplying the bandage to the gash in his cheek, he wished he just had a little more money so he could eat enough to have actual strength.

of course, peter had some savings in his account, just a couple hundred dollars he had left from the money aunt may had left him. he didn't want to dip into that unless it was an emergency, though.

peter stood up and stretched, joints popping in his arm and back. he checked the cracked watch on his wrist. half nine. 

it was around this time muggers were most active in the city, so peter jogged over to where his homemade suit was drying on the washing line he'd found a week ago. really, much more convenient to dry his suit in his own home than to sneakily climb up on to a building and flap it around like a madman.

a few moments later, peter was suited up and shutting down his little workstation and plugging his camera in to charge, before climbing up the pipes to the top of the warehouse.  
he hauled himself up and shut the little trapdoor below him.

he breathed the night air, taking in the familiar view of twinkling lights and the sound of traffic, and took a running jump off the roof into the wide, illuminated street below.

peter checked his watch again as his stomach rumbled. 11:21pm.  
he'd saved several people that evening, even managing to stop a minibus from colliding with a preschool. that was fun.

he closed his eyes , concentrating on expanding his senses and focusing.   
while peter waited for a disturbance, he thought of ways to improve the system he was developing for his suit. 

he'd finally managed to create a technical layout that could resemble some sort of skeleton for the AIast night. a little computer that could help him with his superheroing, aiding him by tracking bad guys and scanning for injuries, that sort of thing. 

he was close to finishing, he just needed to work on the AI's access to his spidey suit's functions, as so far the most it could do was give him directions and keep him company.

peter snapped his eyes open as he felt the warning buzz in his neck, and he leapt up.   
a fire had started on a bridge a few blocks away, creeping up the support cables and causing cars to swerve and crash. 

he wasted no time swinging over, it could get a lot worse.   
peter landed with a roll on the tarmac where people were getting out of their cars and panicking, and he sprinted straight for the massive blaze. 

he stopped briefly, skidding across the gravel to yank a young teen who was stupidly filming away from the fire with a "get back! it could explode!"   
peter's voice had been loud enough for several other people to get the message, and the wave of civilians retreated back. 

peter jumped and used the momentum of kicking off the side of a cable to send him flying across the flames, scanning the area for people trapped.   
he heard wails, and bounded over to a car that was about to tip off the side of the burning bridge. 

a ginger kid was shrieking, clambering desperately to the front of the car as it groaned and tilted over the edge.   
peter fired webs, slowing the car, but was yanked forward and he had to dig his heels into the side of the bridge as he strained to secure the vehicle. 

peter yelled words of encouragement as the kid scrabbled to find a hold to hoist himself up over the seats, but turned and looked down at the black surface of the water. 

"no no no! kid, you're fine, okay? cmon, we gotta get you out!" peter shouted, hoping his false confidence would rub off on the boy.   
the kid nodded, tears staining his young freckled face, and peter swapped both strings of web to one aching arm so he could stretch out an arm. 

the boy sobbed but grabbed peter's gloved hand, and he tugged him out of the car and onto the smoking ground.   
peter had realised after a few minutes of saving people that he'd forgotten to replace the filter that allowed him to breathe in smoke without harm.

his head swam as the smoke filled his lungs gradually, and he choked on ash as he shoved aside cars to make a way for the people to escape the bridge. 

peter was glad to see paramedics dashing towards the group through his hazy vision, and he gave them a clumsy thumbs up as he turned back toward the raging flames. 

he swung round the area one last time, checking to make sure he hadn't missed anyone, before vacating.   
that was the plan, anyway. petey had just leapt down from the suspension cable when he started spluttering, coughing up ash from his sore throat. 

oh god, it stung. he'd never had to get so close to fire before, and he'd had his filter in his mask.   
he wheezed as he stumbled away, his bleary eyes unaware of the crowds of people on the side of the bridge watching him.

"spiderman? are you okay?" a shrill voice cried out, and peter turned to see a couple of people who were looking at him with concern.   
he nodded, still spitting out bits of ash, and he took a few breaths.   
soon he'd have his AI, who could scan his injuries and recommend medical help. 

peter knew he had to leave right now before people began taking more photos or videos of the hurt vigilante, so he waved off the two fellas who'd moved toward him to help and ran away across the street.   
he blinked away the black spots dancing in his vision, suppressing the urge to cough his lungs up. 

he jumped up and started to climb the bricks, soon reaching the roof and looking back at the fire, which he saw with some satisfaction was being blasted with jets of water by firemen lugging hoses. 

peter allowed himself a small smile as he spotted the small gathering of people he had saved from the blaze being tended to by an ambulance. the boy he had pulled out of the car was waving madly up at him, and he waved back, before leaping off the roof yet again. 

as peter swung back across the city, roughly twenty minutes from his home, he was unaware of the pair of light blue eyes watching him from atop stark tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh I wonder who's watching our spidey huh?? nyehehe


	3. i miss ice cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peteys made his very own AI!! won't that be a fun topic with a certain avenger later on... 😉

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proof read this lol
> 
> also just pretend peters soooo smart he was able to build an AI in his dingy warehouse. its possible.   
> if there's a burly blondie channeling lightning and playing godly whack-a-mole with a hammer, peter can build his own ai.

"he seems young"  
bucky nodded. he ran a hand through the messy, brown locks that dangled in his face.  
"like high-school age" steve continued worriedly.

the supersoldiers were standing atop stark tower, staring at where the vigilante had swung away, presumably heading home for the night.

bucky had been sat on the rooftop for quite a while until steve found him, and when the former HYDRA agent explained why he was up there, steve stayed with him to watch the mutant.   
"he can handle his own" bucky comforted the blonde, patting his muscly shoulder.

steve huffed. "I know he can, but he's young and although he seems amazing he's probably inexperienced "   
bucky opened his mouth to defend the spider when they heard a familiar female voice behind them.   
"vision's making chili and he wants you guys to do the dishes" nat called, red hair caught in the night breeze as she poked her head out of the trapdoor.

bucky pulled a face. "vision's cooking?"  
natasha smirked. "wanda's supervising"  
she hauled herself up with ease and joined them at the railing.  
"late-night contemplation?" she asked, and steve scratched his head.  
"not exactly" he admitted, and bucky jumped straight in with "we were watching that spider kid"

nat raised an eyebrow. "why?"  
bucky shrugged. "I want to get to know him, he's funny and he helped me yesterday"

"it's not just that, buck." steve added, his face becoming more stiff and serious, something the team liked to refer to as 'captain mode'  
"it depends really on the situation, but spiderman would be a great asset for the team, the way he works is efficient, and he really gets on with us" he said, ignoring nat's eye roll. 

"well you know how i feel" she sighed, walking back to the trapdoor.   
the redhead had expressed her feelings about the vigilante a few days ago when they'd called a meeting in the conference room to discuss whether or not to try and track him. 

nat, wanda and bucky had been most against the notion, and nat had gone on about how "we can't violate his wishes to remain anonymous, his secret identity is probably the only thing keeping him safe" 

trust the black widow, infamous for her many aliases, to know about identities. 

bucky waved a goodbye to nat. she receded back down the ladder, but not without a "if you haven't done the dishes in the next half hour, stark's gonna remove your mario kart priveleges" 

bucky chuckled, but noticed steve's troubled expression.   
"hey, cmon cap, it's fine. we can't force the guy to talk to us" he said, drifting away from the railing.   
steve smiled faintly. "yeah, i know. i just worry" 

bucky grinned. "you're like a mother hen. you've always worried far too much"   
steve punched his shoulder, and bucky reciprocated with his metal arm, snorting when steve whined. 

"ah, come on. il dry, you wash?" steve offered, and bucky scoffed.  
"in your dreams, I washed last time, golden boy" 

peter punched the air, whooping loudly, but instantly regretting it as his chest twinged painfully, his aching lungs still sensitive from that fire.   
"oh fuck YES!" he hissed, clutching his ribs but still celebrating.   
he'd successfully managed to get around the snag he'd hit with developing his AI, and the progress he made definitely paid off. 

peter smiled triumphantly at the computer monitor in front of him, displaying his beloved project.   
he could've kissed the moniter, but considering he'd found the thing in a dumpster he decided to just punch the air a few more times. 

"fuck yeah!" he uttered, his smile so wide it hurt his cheeks.   
peter was about to grab his suit and upload the AI right now, but hesitated as he felt the aching in his muscles and back. he'd been hunched over his setup for far too long. 

peter decided he'd get some air before testing out his brain child, and walked out of the slanted doorway that was half-caved in, giving the illusion the warehouse was no good.   
he walked round the block, hands shoved in his grey jeans, curly brown hair unruly and pretty dirty.   
there was a small shower block that was surprisingly nice considering the rough area peter resided in. he'd head there later when he'd finished uploading his AI. 

peter tutted as he saw the fresh litter of cans and food packaging scattered around the alleys linking to a small skatepark and another cluster of warehouses, and he snatched them up and stuffed them in the bin. 

he waved to the scruffy teenagers who were sat up on a high ledge, doing some variation of drugs. they waved back with enthusiasm, some of them actually bothering to smile.   
when he'd first arrived at the area, some of the fellow homeless had tried to rough him up, noticing the selection of expensive things he'd taken with him from aunt may's, but they'd learned very quickly peter was not one to be messed with. 

the local gangs and such had grown to give the suspiciously strong boy a wide burden, and after a few incidents where peter had showed his kindness, given them previsions such as sleeping bags and even patching a couple of kids up after a fight, they began to respect him

he was glad he'd had a positive influence on the area, as he had stopped fights from breaking out on numerous occasions. 

half an hour later peter arrived back at his hideout, and started getting to work implementing his artificial intelligence.   
he'd yet to give it a name, actually. 

after a couple of test runs, where peter had excitedly conversed with the computerised voice (he still needed to give it a voice, an identity) and given it commands, which it successfully carried out, he grinned with glee and leaned back in his second-hand swivel chair. 

"so... what do you think of ice cream?" he asked randomly, reveling in the comfort of actually having someone to talk to. 

he had no friends, having left them all behind. the people at the newspaper company barely acknowledged him when he handed them his photos, so the snatched 'conversations' he had with criminals and occasionally, superheroes, were the best he got.

the robotic voice responded, hesitantly if that was possible.   
"i myself am unable to taste ice cream, but i deduce from public data that the snack is most enjoyable" the voice said coolly, and peter snorted.   
he reached forwards and started tapping away on the keyboard, changing its attitude settings to more informal. he didn't want such a dry-sounding computer companion. 

"that it is" he said grinning. "I miss ice cream..."   
his smile faded as peter remembered the times he and his uncle ben would sneak in a few cones when they were out on their daily errands, keeping it between themselves so as not to incur the wrath of aunt may. 

"you are distres-upset" the AI noted, correcting its formal language, and peter rubbed his face slowly.   
"I shouldn't be" he said dismissively. "I've just created my very own AI! I've been working toward this for months, I shouldn't be moping around" 

"considering your past, peter, i think it's okay to be sad"   
peter hummed in response, spinning around on his chair. 

he placed his booted foot on the edge of the squeaky mattress on the floor as he spun to a stop, and bit his lip.   
"do you think... do you think i should help the avengers more often?" he asked, curious to see it's response. 

the AI seemed to debate for a bit before answering with "given the footage and the resources, it seems they get on a lot better when you're assisting them"   
peter rolled his eyes. "duh" he said, his mouth curving slightly. 

"now... what voice do you think would suit you?" he asked.  
"a young female voice is favoured as most soothing" the AI replied, and peter nodded. 

"you do seem like a she"   
he spun the chair back around and started tapping the keyboard keys again, and listened to a few voices from this website he'd found. 

after a few minutes of debating, he decided to upload the 12th one, a friendly-sounding teenage-ish(?) girl voice.   
it took a few minutes to integrate, so peter hopped up and grabbed his suit, fiddling with a few cables.   
he connected the wires, inserting the light grey thin cable into the small gadget lining on the inside of his mask.  
he watched the screen blink green as the system started uploading, and he grinned his crooked, cheery smile again.  
his family had told him once his smile could brighten up the world.

after may had died, the only parker relative left hadn't smiled for a full year before   
realising his family wouldn't want him to scrooge his way through life. so he'd started to joke around on patrol, and soon his natural bright and goofy demeanour had bounced back full-force.

it was a shame no one was really around to see him smile. and the times he did he was covered by his mask.

peter licked his lips, eyeing the screen. the AI was 20% uploaded.  
sometimes he wished he could take off the mask, let the people he save in the alleys see his face, let them know it was him that was helping them, but he knew he couldn't.

spiderman was his identity now. it protected him.

"voice has been uploaded, peter. hello"  
said a nice-sounding female voice from the speaker linked up to his monitors, and peter smiled.  
"hello! do you like your voice?" he asked excitedly.  
"I like it very much" the comforting voice answered.

"now just for a name..." peter mumbled, twirling a black marker in his hand absent-mindedly.  
"would you like me to suggest options?"said his computerised companion, and he shrugged.  
" ahh, go on" he complied.

"popular choices for female names are Emma, Olivia, Ava, Isabella, Sophia, Mia, Charlotte, Amelia, Lydia...would you like me to continue?"

peter hummed thoughtfully. "ill think on it" he decided.  
"my system is 90% intergrated" she(yes peter decided it was a she) chirped, and peter grinned, rubbing his hands like a mad scientist in anticipation.

he got out of the chair and leapt up in the air, at least fifteen feet, grabbing a chain that dangled from the ceiling. he used the chain to swing forward and flip, wheeling through the air to land on a cabinet with an echoey "thunk !"

it wasn't peter's fault he had ADHD, the kid couldn't sit still for five minutes.

peter blew a brown curl out of his face(god, he needed a haircut) and jumped down off the cabinet  
"very impressive, my lord" the unnamed AI deadpanned sarcastically, and peter broke into laughter, his wheezy, breathy giggles filling the dingy spacious room.

twenty minutes later, peter was standing fully decked out in his red and blue suit on top of the warehouse, breathing in the crisp cold evening air and adjusting the new AI-controlled mask.   
it felt odd, but he'd get used to it.   
he was testing the last few commands. 

"so... testing, testing... please could you activate my foam setting?" he asked, and he held up his arm to see the matte black webshooter flash white, the colour that displayed the foam setting, a material he decided to implement for small fires. 

"ah... thank you. now, flying squirrel mode please" peter asked, and smirked when he felt the tug as a type of parachute-material emerged from flaps by his shoulder blades and the back of his shins that allowed him to glide in case he ever ran out of webfluid mid-air.   
which he was unlikely to do, as his new buddy would now kindly inform him when he got to 20% capacity. 

peter nodded, smug and satisfied.   
"right. no time to dawdle, let's test this baby out!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment a name for the AI if you'd like!!! please!!! I have!! no ideas!! ❤️


	4. cat in a tree. yep.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bit of tony and pepper being all lovey, then peter being worshipped by the public.  
> also cats are cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bon appetit my pretties

tony sang along to the screeching lyrics of the heavy metal song blasting out of the speakers in his lab, his warbly voice muffled by the large metal visor he was wearing.  
sparks flew across the worktop as he fused together components for his latest suit, Mark 47.

the genius continued to assemble bits and bobs for the inner wiring for another ten minutes before taking a break;he had been solidly working for 2 hours.  
he wiped off the sweat running down his unshaven face, and handed the visor to dum-e with a "thanks, bud"  
the robot whirred in response and hung the helmet on its usual hook as tony walked round to the glowing blue holograms on the opposite end of the spacious room.

tony stretched, twisting his back and sighing. he'd made good progress with his suit, but he was still a bit miffed at how he'd barely gotten anywhere with his search for spiderman.  
he wasn't tracking or investigating, he was simply curious as to the hero's background, his motives, his history.

it seemed spiderman wasn't just an incredibly strong, sticky vigilante. he was also clever, as tony had yet to discover where he resided. 

steve had mentioned the possibility of recruiting him, and considering tony had taken a liking to the kid (his witty humour and mocking attitude were similar to his own . the mechanic had watched several videos passers-by had taken of the young spider sassing criminals), he was all in favour.

"stark! you missed yet anOTHEr bloody meeting-"  
ah, pep. tony grinned as pepper came storming into the dingy lab, her pissed-off voice only just making it above the loud shrieking rock song that nearly shook the compound. 

the whirlwind of heels, important papers and sheer indignant exasperation approached him, and his easygoing grin didn't deter her one bit. 

"I bloody KNEW I was going to have to storm down here-" 

the billionaire ordered JARVIS to pause the music.  
"I swear to GOD, tony, I will fucking castrate you if you miss the one tommorow-"  
"pep, pep" tony soothed, reaching out a placating grimy hand (she glanced at it distastefully). "I already sent them an apology. my liege and savour rhodey covered for me" 

pepper paused, mouth open, the furious words stuck in her throat.  
she rolled her eyes as tony smirked gleefully.  
"well. okay then. you still need to file the project 35 papers and sign off on-"  
"yeah, yeah I get the point. work shit to do" tony waved an arm airily. "but first, drinks" 

he grabbed the chilled bottle of red wine he'd prepared earlier and poured them both a glass.  
"I can't drink, tony! im on duty, there's-"  
tony pressed the glass into her hands with his puppy eyes look he reserved just for her, and she caved. 

"oh for fucks sake" she mumbled into her glass. "worst boss in the states"  
"aha!" tony cried. "so I've been upgraded from worst boss in the world, have I?"  
she glared at him, poking her tongue out. 

looking past him, she noticed the holograms depicting a certain bloke in a mask and the information he'd gathered so far.  
"I thought you guys had decided to leave him alone" she stated accusingly, and tony shrugged.  
"not really. we're all going to try and make a concious effort to befriend him, show him the benefits of working with us" he explained.  
tony gestured to the luminous screens. "hence, my background check"  
at the blonde's unconvinced face, he looked at her pleadingly.  
"cmon honey, its better than fury ordering us to drag him in, kicking and screaming" 

pepper narrowed her eyes. "you promise you're not tracking him or anything"  
tony knelt dramatically on the black marble tiles floor, causing pepper to snort.  
"I promise, my gloriousness" he drawled, and she yanked him back up again with a dry expression.  
"besides. he's a sneaky little bugger. knows how to hide" tony continued, eyebrows furrowing.

pepper opened her mouth to say something, but her starkphone rang, the shrill piercing ringing making them both wince.  
she answered it hurriedly, face falling slightly as she talked business and made arrangements.  
despite their antics, they both were disappointed to be interuppted. tony's new gadgets being released by stark industries meant that pepper, the ceo, was under a lot more strain than usual. 

they barely saw each other all day, and the limited contact they did have, they savoured. 

pepper sent tony an apologetic look as she hung up. "sorry babe, madison went ahead and dismissed the latest-well, you don't need to hear the details. we still on for tommorow evening?"  
tony nodded, grinning again.  
"i know a great little place on 41st, their breadsticks are literally mouth heaven-"  
"how about we just have a night in?" pepper suggested, and tony agreed instantly at seeing the makeup-concealed bags under her eyes. 

"of course, my lady" he said, making a sweeping gesture as he bowed low.  
she giggled despite herself, then instantly sobered.  
"remember young man. sign off on those papers or I will have your head" she said coolly, and tony nodded seriously, his face solemn before going cross-eyed to try and get another laugh.  
pepper held back a smile, and walked back down the rows of countertops, her heels clicking smartly. 

"and have a wash! you're filthy!" she called back, and he flipped her off with a cheery smirk. she reciprocated, then the door slid behind her.  
they were in love like that. 

"right.." tony muttered, scratching his head. his eyes strayed to the neat stack of papers and forms on his desk, then to the the pile of metal bits on his oTHer desk.  
"hey JARVIS, music on please!" he yelled, and the AI replied politely with "of course, sir" 

the heavy drums and guitar riffs pounded in his ears as he made his way over to the suit. 

"spiderman! spiderman! over here!"  
peter looked down from the towering building to see a frantic-looking dude with blonde dreadlocks.  
"my cat's stuck up a tree!" he cried, and peter resisted the urge to giggle.  
cats stuck up trees.wow.

"uh yeah, il be right down!" peter yelled, cramming the rest of the energy bar into his mouth and tugging the mask down.  
he leapt down and casually slid down the bonnet of a car, grinning at the look of awe on the guy's face.

"s-sorry to bother you, sir, she's just down here.." he babbled, nervously tugging on his wispy blonde beard and pointing down the path at the greenery beyond.  
"no worries! it's cool!" peter said earnestly, clapping a gloved hand on the man's shoulder. he looked like he might pass out.

"r-right. yeah, okay. right. so she's g-got an anxiety disorder so if you could please b-be gentle.." he said nervously as they jogged down the pavilion.  
"of course" peter said, nodding.  
it had been a while since he'd done something as mundane as helping cats from trees.  
ever since he'd moved into a much bigger area in the city, things such as helping the eldery cross the road became rarer.

they reached the tall oak, the blonde still rambling and stuttering (peter still found it odd that anyone could ever be nervous around him, a literal 16-year-old nerd).  
"s-she's just up there!" the guy pointed out the small black cat, more a kitten, mewling in the branches above

"awww. she's a cutie" peter cooed, and the man blushed.  
"p-please be gentle" he reminded.  
peter set a foot on the rough bark, and began to crawl slowly up the trunk, careful not to spook the kitten.  
as he neared the cat, he called down to the man. "how did she get stuck all the way up here anyway?"

"o-oh, my freinds t-told me I should take her on a w-walk"  
peter stifled a chuckle.  
"b-but she got scared, and ran up the tree"  
peter glanced back down as he inched along the branch, and rolled his eyes when he saw a few people filming.

the sleek black cat's fearful mewls became more like yowls, and peter edged closer cautiously.  
he scooped it up gently, and sighed with relief when it didn't start struggling.  
back when peter's suit was less developed and flimsy, the fabric had a tendency to rip.

he heard gentle cheers and whoops as peter jumped down, cradling the feline.  
"here ya go" peter said softly, and carefully opened his arms when blondie approached.

"t-thank you, spiderman!" he blubbered, stroking his now content kitten, and peter did finger guns as he backed off down the tiles, noticing the small crowd that had gathered.

"anytime!" he called cheerily, and he jumped straight up in the air, grabbing the branch of another tree and using the momentum to swing away.  
now, back to base... he thought as he flew through the intertwining streets on his webs. but photos first. 

peter's pics that he submitted to the newspaper were all pretty much the same theme: spiderman.  
he took selfies of himself when he was swinging, or set his camera up as he swung by.

the photos were very popular, the more detailed the more money he'd get. the newspaper people weren't really interested in peter or his stammerings that he'd gotten the images from a freind of spiderman, they only cared about publishing them and gaining readers.

so petey snapped a couple of selfies on the way home, doing peace signs and even dabbing. he knew the younger kids would love that.

the spider was nearly home when he heard gunfire, and he set down on a rooftop, skidding on the bricks.  
he looked down at the rough streets, and saw a bunch of black-clad figures with guns, cornered in an alley.  
they seemed like trouble, and peter debated interfering as the criminals took potshots round the wall at whoever they were facing.

peter clung to the wall and crawled round the corner to see who they were shooting at. 

peter sighed when he saw a very familiar redhead and surly-looking man staring up at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even more oOoOoOooOh...
> 
> also if ur in the UK rn, wasn't the lightning fuckin amazing?? its so cool!


	5. a mini tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nat and clint banter on mission. petey makes an emergency hammock.
> 
> also tasha rly hates paisley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god I'm exhausted  
> i literally have permanent bags under my eyes

the elegant assassin in a black spy suit with flaming red hair smoothly replaced the magazine in her gun.   
"anyway, as I was saying" she continued, calmly ignoring the sharp sounds of shots fired against the car they were crouched behind.   
"if coulson does not spice up his wardrobe soon im going to anonymously mail him some floral kimonos"   
"considering the obvious contempt you have for his plain clothes, it wouldn't be very anonymous" clint said, fitting a taser arrow to his sleek silver bow.   
"honestly, I cannot take another paisley necktie..." nat whined. 

clint grinned as natasha mimed strangling their colleague with said tie, before sobering up, readying her glock and peering round the crashed vehicle at the criminals.  
she fired three shots, two hitting their mark, the third richocheting off the bricks

"it's nice to handle such a mundane matter after last week" clint grunted, drawing back his bow and aiming.   
natasha hummed in agreement as the ground shook, an explosion sending bits of debris raining down. 

as they continued to banter and also round up the remaining corrupt agents, nat felt as if she was being watched. the sort of wierd tingling in the her neck. 

"and THAT'S why regular bows are insurmountably superior to crossbows..."   
natasha elbowed a ranting clint, momentarily forgetting about the bullets whistling past their ears, and pointed up at the top of the building, where a suited figure was clinging to the red wall next to the rusty fire escape 

clint glanced up and instantly grinned. he resisted the urge to yell 'SPIDEY!!', not wanting to to let his presence be known to the criminals.   
he settled for a little 'cooey' wave, and was glad to see the other man reciprocate. 

"has he come to help, do you think?" clint asked, and nat, ever so keenly observant, shook her head.   
"I think he's finishing up his crime-fighting outing for the day" she guessed, taking in his slightly tired demeanor.

they resumed sniping, before nat decided they were weakened enough to go on full assault. they'd been cautious as SHIELD suspected the group had stolen highly destructive weaponry from Stark's rival company, Oscorp. 

the cowering agents hadn't shown any signs of harbouring such dangerous technology yet, so the redhead decided to risk it, and she flipped over the car before sprinting quickly at the corner.  
she heard a 'thwip!' above her as she readied her close-combat batons. 

natasha smirked at the wide-eyed fearful man holding a rifle as she barrelled towards him. she slid under his legs, turned and swung her baton at his face with considerable strength. the man slid to the ground, unconscious.  
she ducked as a woman with a furious face and two pistols fired, and nat casually grabbed her flailing arm, twisted her wrist and driving her knee into her groin.

the brunette yelped, and nat swiftly threw her to one side, already calculating disarming moves on the rest of her targets   
she kicked a bearded guy in the knees and slammed her wrist into his jaw, feeling a crack.  
she glanced to the side in surprise when she heard a "nice one!"

she smirked as the young hero calmly webbed up two agents against the wall, their guns clattering to the floor as they shrieked.

"you're not bad yourself" she replied coolly, having seen his fighting style and approving.  
"hey! you having fun without me?" an indignant clint jogged over, his bow detached into two batons with blades.  
natasha smirked as he pouted, glaring at all the incapacitated targets writhing on the ground or pinned to the wall by white strands of web.

"sorry man" spiderman said apologetically, looking so damn young as he stood there awkwardly, scuffing his feet and tapping his gloved hands against his thighs.  
"nice of you to show up, kid" clint said, forgetting his annoyance and raising his hand for a high five.

spiderman huffed, leaving clint's palm in the air. "I'm not a kid" he insisted, and nat snorted as he conciously lowered his voice.  
nat opened her mouth to retort as she holstered her glocks, but noticed as the lanky hero tensed.

he suddenly whirled around and fired a web, so fast if you blinked you would've missed it.  
a short, rounded man with glasses had popped up from behind a dumpster, and was aiming a massive, sci-fi looking grey weapon at them.

ah. there's the tech. 

it clunked and whirred, the blue light gleaming from the muzzle, but spidey's web hit the guy's face, and he screamed, the weapon thrown from his hands, but still ominously buzzing

it happened so fast. one minute spiderman was tugging the bespectacled man toward him, the wierd grey cannon spinning in the air.  
the next thing nat knew she was flying backwards, her ears ringing as she faintly registered bright blue light exploding from in front of her as the weapon discharged in mid-air.

nat screwed up her eyes as she prepared for the rough landing.

peter had had time to shield hawkeye, who was nearest him, from the powerful blue blast, as he had predicted the weapon going off, but hadn't expected it to blow the black widow into next week.  
he was on his feet in less than a second, dropping a protesting assassin from where he'd wrapped his arms round him protectively, and he instantly fired a web.  
the boy swung insanely quickly, firing and releasing, desperately trying to reach the agent before she fell.

peter grimaced as his AI informed him his web fluid contents were at 11%, but fired a dozen strands anyway.  
the strands of fluid stronger than kevlar criss-crossed, creating a meshy barrier between the narrow walls of the alley that the spy then fell onto.  
the redhead blinked in surprise as she lay there, clearly dazed.

peter jumped and stuck to the wall a few feet from her.  
"thanks" he heard her utter dizzily, recovering quickly, and peter shrugged.  
"no worries, skipper" he said airily, sticking to the wall with his ass and his feet as he leaned forward.  
he waved at hawkeye down the alley, who was gawping at them.

"so like.. am I just stuck here now?" the black widow inquired, trying and failing to wrench her arms from where they were tightly enveloped in web  
"oh, no! sorry, my bad. I got the solution somewhere..."   
the agent watched in amusement as peter patted his suit up and down. 

"sorry, i forget where everything is.. just changed the layout for my suit, I got pockets now!" he exclaimed excitedly.   
she smirked, and he smiled back under the suit. 

"where's my dissolving solution, o divine intelligence?" peter asked, ignoring the look of faint bemusement flickering on the black widow's face. 

"compartment 8, right by your left wrist" the female voice answered inside his mask, the tone ever so slightly amused.   
"aha! thanks" he said, triumphantly plucking the tiny vial from his hidden pocket and presenting it with a hint of pride

"you holdin my tasha hostage?" he heard the other assassin yell below, having picked his way over around the debris and bodies littering the street  
"yep!" peter replied cheerily, as he leant forward and carefully tipped a few drops of the liquid onto the mess of webs, the redhead looking on, fascinated. 

the webbing began to dissolve, and peter politely asked the agent if he could pick her up. she nodded, admiring his respect, and he gently scooped the assassin up in his strong arms and leapt down on to the stained floor below. 

peter set her down gently as hawkeye spoke into an earpiece, confirming the mission's success and talking about other super secret agent spy shit. 

"how did you know that guy was there?" the black widow asked interestedly, and peter smirked.   
"just a little trick I have. comes hand in hand with my rugged good looks" he said confidently, slipping the small glass vial back into his concealed pocket. 

hawkeye chuckled. "you're a punk, you know that"   
peter did finger guns at him. "the finest punk around, sarge. my reputation of punkery is well known in these parts" 

the man laughed again, but peter's heart skipped a bit, aware he may have given away that he lived nearby with the "these parts"  
he was worried to see the female agent's eyes narrow as she studied him, and decided he should take off before the spy did any spying. 

"well. it's been absolutely splendid, but it's getting late, so... see ya." he said, doing a stupid little curtsey before backing away down the street where SHIELD agents were handcuffing the fallen criminals.  
hawkeye smirked and waved yet again, while the disconcerting look of someone who's trying to figure you out stayed upon the black widow's face.   
"and at this rate, I'll have saved all your lives before Christmas!" he yelled, jumping and swinging away.

clint watched him go, and turned to natasha, opening his mouth.  
"he's your new favourite, yes i know" nat said dryly, and clint nodded eagerly.  
"the sass, though, babe... he's like a mini tony!"  
nat raised an eyebrow. "oh god. like we need another tony running around"

"he'd be so fantastic on the team!" clint continued ecstatically. "his fighting... and his reflexes!"  
"looks like spidey's got himself another fan" nat commented with a smirk.  
clint pouted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao nat and clint are the type of friends that are so close they seem like a couple, yknow?
> 
> I think their friendship is kind of like Nora and Alex's from this amazing book called Red, White & Royal Blue.
> 
> the characters are like soulmate-level close and snog on new year's eve when the clock counts down as a laugh, and to make people jealous 😂
> 
> fyi: snog means kiss for all my non-brits x 😘


	6. she's a killer queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter has a lil rinse. also the avengers are absolute lads and probably have a shrine to pepper potts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [no I still haven't fucking chosen an AI name yet, sue me] 
> 
> peter has a lil rinse. also the avengers are absolute lads and probably have a shrine to pepper potts.

the warm water washed away the soapy bubbles that covered peter's hair, and he sighed in contentment.  
he savoured the showers he could afford occasionally, and considering what had happened yesterday, peter would probably be getting a lot fewer washes.

he'd been fired from his shitty newspaper job. they'd had enough of his loose attitude, how he'd only drop in whenever he could.  
seems they appreciate employees to be more hands-on, peter thought bitterly as he scrubbed his arms free of grime and dried blood.

it wasn't the end of the world. he'd had that job for a while and he was starting to get sick of the way he was treated by the company.  
maybe this is a good thing, he pondered.  
maybe I could snag a higher-paying job that doesn't treat me like filth.

peter hurriedly washed the rest of the soap off his body, eyeing the timer on a little slab on the wall ticking down to 5 seconds.  
he breathed in the warm steam, taking it in, before the water shut off suddenly.

peter pushed back his sopping hair, and stepped out of the cubicle to quickly make his way over to his locker.  
he dried himself off with the unpleasantly-rough towel he'd had for a year, and winced as it dragged over his tender skin.

ten minutes later he was jogging home in a pair of scruffy denim jeans and a hoodie, a pair of bluetooth earphones he'd made himself stuck in his ears.  
they were on an incredibly low volume setting, so quiet he doubted anyone could even hear the music if they fitted them on.

as various indie bands blasted, he tugged on his lip worriedly as he thought about his pittance of money sitting on the table at home. barely enough for the coming week. he had to look for employment right away.

peter hummed along to the 1975 as he crossed the street, cars honking and city lights winking in the dark.

thoughts whirled in his head as he made his way down the winding alleys to his warehouse. a science job would be cool.  
he had to abandon school when may died to focus on himself, so he didn't have any qualifications or anything.

maybe he could just impress a company with his knowledge, or maybe show them his AI??  
no, no. he couldn't risk that.

peter flopped on his mattress with a deep sigh. no spidermanning today, he was just not up to it.  
"are you okay, peter?" his AI asked worriedly from the speaker on the desk, and he grunted.  
"well, I'm sure you'll figure it out. you got brains for days, man" she deadpanned, and peter snorted. he'd forgotten that he'd uploaded a library's contents of gen z humour into her database.

"thanks mate" he mumbled, feeling his consciousness ebb away slowly.  
"i feel bad I haven't given you a name yet" 

"don't feel bad. it'll make you sad. and sad backwards is das, and das not good." the AI said seriously, and peter's choked laughs were muffled by his blanket.

"goodnight, web boi" she whispered, and he drifted off to sleep.

"spiderman held you hostage??" steve asked confusedly, and nat bit back a laugh.  
"he's kidding" she said, glaring at clint.  
"he made like a kind of barrier of webs that I fell onto so I didn't, you know, plummet to my death" natasha said dryly, and sam whistled appreciatively from where he was rooting around in the fridge.

"he's saved like 25% of the avengers" clint said, twirling an arrow on the sofa next to nat, steve opposite them on the other sofa with bucky.  
"that's not even.. close to right.." nat muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.  
"I hate maths, okay?" clint said. 

bucky smiled one of his rare smiles. "he's got flair about him, doesn't he?" he said quietly, and clint grinned toothily.   
"more than flair. this kid's wit would do tony proud"

"what'd do me proud?" came a voice from the doorway, and tony sauntered in, looking like absolute shit on one hour of sleep in two days, clutching a mug of presumably very strong coffee.

"jesus, stark, you look like shit" sam stated simply, pouring orange juice into a glass on the counter beside wanda, who was sat cross-legged on the surface.   
"thanks babes" tony said sarcastically with a glare. "anyone seen my shopping list?"

"over on the coffee table" steve said, motioning toward the tiny glass table beside an armchair   
"can you add doritos?" sam asked, passing a bowl of pretzels to bucky.  
"uhhh, no." tony said flatly. "you only like the gross spicy ones" 

"tones, it's not my fault you have dysfunctional taste buds" the former pararescue retorted. "you can only handle the cheese ones"   
"which are the best ones!" tony exclaimed, scribbling on the tiny sheet of paper he'd snatched up from the little table. 

clint nodded in agreement. "he's right, you know" 

"дай мне" nat said casually, motioning to bucky, who smirked and and passed the bowl over.  
she scooped up a couple of pretzels, holding the bowl out of clint's reach.

"we really should get that spider kid on the team" steve said.   
"woah, woah. we're talking shopping and now we're going at this whole spiderman thing again?" tony said. 

"we've been over this, guys. we should leave him alone. he's his own person and he can do what he wants with his powers as long as he's helping the city" bucky spoke up softly. clint high-fived him. 

"yeah, the accords are over" clint agreed, still trying to reach the bowl nat was holding behind her.  
"I mean, I'm just saying that.. this guy would be a lot more effective and efficient if he joined us" steve protested.

wanda spoke for the first time, fiddling with her rings nervously.  
"I don't understand why some of you can't just accept that spiderman is his own person, and we cannot make him do anything. he's his own hero, and he may prefer it that way." she said faintly. 

natasha threw her hands up. "exactly" 

tony crossed his arms. "that's a fair point, but I have to say, he doesn't look so good. like he looks quite malnourished, you can see his ribs through the suit." 

they all fell silent, mulling over the words.

"so we can either leave him alone, and accept the help he offers occasionally, or we can offer him a place on the team" clint summed up. 

"well we can't just let him on the team straight away" steve said, rubbing his eyes. "we'd have to give him some sort of tryout." 

tony snorted. "like auditions"   
"exactly" steve said mid-yawn."but even if this guy doesn't want to join us, I'd like to offer him some sort of aid all the same" 

"he may not want it. spidey's stubborn" nat pointed out, and the blonde grimaced.   
"true. but he deserves it all the same for saving people almost every day." 

the elevator dinged as the doors slid open, and pepper entered the floor, looking odd without her usual stack of papers or clipboard.   
"theo's let me off for the evening so I've come to grace you with my presence" she announced, striding forward and collapsing tiredly onto a squishy armchair. 

"and what an exquisite presence that is" tony drawled, walking over and kissing the top of her head.   
they all greeted her warmly. it was nice to see the legendary pepper potts away from her work.   
"god, someone get me a drink please" she said as tony joined her on the arm of the chair, wrapping his arms round her shoulders tenderly. 

"of course, mlady" clint chirped, retrieving a bottle of red wine from behind the couch with a grin.   
steve stared at him distastefully, and he shrugged, saying "for emergencies" 

pepper eyed the bottle with repressed disgust. "no no, I need the real stuff" she said, and wanda hopped down of the counter to rummage behind the bar next to it.   
she held up a bottle of vodka. 

"oh wanda babe. I'm not looking to get hammered" pepper called, and wanda smiled, ducking back down. her arm reappeared a moment later with a delicate bottle displaying the words "Moet & Chandon"   
"that's more like it" pepper said, stretching her sore arms and relaxing into tony. 

nat and clint cheered, and wanda popped back up and levitated the bottle towards the CEO with her magic.   
pepper chuckled, grabbing the drink and uncorking it with her teeth, ignoring the aghast looks of steve and sam. 

"woah" bucky stated coolly, and pepper smirked.   
"I can't be elegance and heels all the time, barnes"   
steve swallowed. "no you cannot"   
bucky grinned, his perfect teeth flashing. "she's a killer queen" he deadpanned, and everyone burst out laughing. 

steve looked around, confused face akin to a poor puppy.  
"huh?" he asked.  
nat rolled her eyes. "uneducated swine" she said fondly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> geddit? geddit?  
> people who don't get the Queen reference are dead to me.


	7. jackie chan shit + boardgames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhh peter stops an assault, and there's a lot of domestic avengers arguing over games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit this is long
> 
> that's what she said   
> k il stop
> 
> hope u enjoy :)

"are you going to buy something?" the cashier asked irritably, watching peter stand staring at the various snacks on neat rows.  
peter nodded apologetically, and went back to calculating which food would satisfy his hunger the most for the cheapest price.

worrying his lip, he finally reached out and picked up a pack of oatmeal. peter then walked over to the refrigerated aisle and grabbed a big pot of yoghurt.  
this'll do me, he thought, though wrinkling his nose at the diary product. he absolutely loathed yoghurt, but it was cheap and filling.

he paid for his items, shoving the packages into his bag and starting to walk down the street, the familiar sounds of cars screeching and honking strangely comforting.  
it was around 9ish, and tipping down with rain. he hastened to get back so he could patrol.  
peter gripped his backpack strap as his worn trainers sloshed through puddles, and he was just longingly inhaling the scent of chinese food as he passed a restaurant when he heard a woman shriek nearby.

oh fuck. it wasn't good when muggings occurred and he wasn't in his suit.  
peter started running, making an effort to not go too fast, like inhumanly, as that would surely attract attention.  
he couldn't focus his senses with so many conflicting sounds happening around the area, so he just ran on instinct.

"get off me! you bastards!" peter heard a woman scream, and he skidded into the entrance of a dingy shortcut alley, spraying water.  
a cowering young woman in a red raincoat was being cornered by four dudes, all jeering and making threatening moves.  
one of them, a big beefy man with sunglasses(in the rain? what a wierdo) turned to look at peter.

shades elbowed the others, and they stopped tormenting the poor girl to square up against the brown-haired teenager.  
peter felt fear without his mask, but forced his composure to remain calm. he wasn't used to concealing his expressions.

"hey guys" he called, his voice slightly squeaky but loud and confident. "is this really the best way to spend a splendid showery wednesday evening?"  
the second man stepped forward, clutching the woman's purse from where he had been mockingly dangling it above her.  
"go home, kid" he snarled, malice glinting in his eyes, his free hand not-so-subtly curling into a fist.

peter continued to inch forward slowly, yanking his hood over his head to retain a tiny bit of anonymity. "no thank you, kind sir" he said cheerily.  
sunglasses and fist started to approach, the other men staying behind to look out.  
peter glared as he saw the third guy kick the girl in the side ; her whimpers echoed around the alley but were muffled by the rain pounding on the bricks.

i don't have time for this whole intimidation gimmick, peter thought, as manhood mcgee and his twitchy buddy sneered insults. he caught the women's fearful eyes, curled up in a ball behind the human wall of toxic masculinity, and he offered her a kind, reassuring smile. though he knew she probably had 0 faith in this scrawny git that had stumbled upon her assault.

peter aimed to startle the men twice his age, so he threw down his backpack on to the wet ground and sprinted forward suddenly.  
as he'd predicted, the men's eyes widened in surprise as the skinny nerd barrelled towards them, but at the last minute jumped over their heads, flipping and landing a good few paces away.

peter made quick work of punching the third guy in the face. he scrambled away and took off down the street, ignoring his mate's angry cries of 'get back here!'.  
the fourth guy was a little braver, putting up his fists, but peter swept his legs out from under him and slammed his head into the pavement.  
he felt his neck tingle alarmingly, and peter spun around and grabbed the fist that was inches away from his face. he twisted it, the man yelping, and he flipped him over onto the ground whilst elbowing sunglasses away.

in a blur of punches and disarming motions, two guys lay groaning on the floor, one out cold.  
peter wiped his hands off on his jeans and turned to the woman, who was staring at him in absolute awe.  
he offered her a hand, and she took it shakily.  
"are you alright, ma'am?" he asked softly, leading her away from the scene and back down the alley.

she stared at him, and he registered that she was probably in shock. either from being attacked or from witnessing a scrawny stick of a boy do some seriously impressive jackie chan shit.

"it's going to be all right, you're okay. it's okay" peter murmered, stopping to pick up his soaking bag and slinging it over his shoulder.  
she nodded, lip trembling.  
"would you like me to walk you home?" peter offered, and the girl shook her head.

"I-I'm alright, I'll just - stay out of the alleyways-" she stammered, voice breaking on 'alleyways'.   
red raincoat lady suddenly burst into tears, and peter held her gently as she sobbed, clutching his sodden hoodie.  
"its okay, its okay, it's over" he whispered, heart aching at the thought of her pain.  
how many times he'd had to do this, to witness so many people be assaulted and how much it affected them.

after a few minutes, she pulled back, eyes red and puffy.  
"thank you so much" she whispered, and peter mustered an easygoing grin.  
"no worries at all" he promised, and she smiled faintly back.

tony clinked his champagne glass against pepper's, smiling.  
"cheers" they said, and drank.  
"you know what" pepper started, and tony jumped in with "you're pregnant with a chitauri child".  
that earned him a smack on the arm, and he chuckled.

"i think we need to get wanda some freinds" pepper mused, sipping from the expensive champagne flute. "she's 17, she should have some friends her age to hang out with, it can't be good for her to just know us."  
"how would we do that, then?" tony asked sceptically, and his girlfreind shrugged.

"no clue. I just think it'd be nice for her to get on with some teenagers" she said.  
tony nodded, and she added "she might do well getting a part-time job or something"  
"avenging is her job!" tony protested, and pepper waved him off.  
"just the experience!" she said, rubbing her neck. "the experience of an actual job-"  
"would be mind-numbingly boring and tedious" tony cut in, and pepper glared at him with mock anger.

"oh whatever. I've got to get going now, anyways." pepper stood, grabbing her jacket and placing her unfinished drink down on the table.  
"already?" tony whined, standing and pulling her in for a hug.  
"I'm sorry, babe, just work shit that needs sorting out"   
she sighed as he held her, and reluctantly pulled away.  
"ill see you guys tommorow night though, I think!" she called, walking toward the elevator, and he grinned.

"i look forward to it" he replied, winking, and she rolled her eyes but blew a kiss as the elevator doors closed.  
tony rubbed his hands together like a stereotypical movie villain. now, lab time? or training? or what...  
lab, he decided.  
he downed the rest of his champagne, turning to walk down the stairs to the lounge before he heard "stark!"

steve strode toward him, looking well-rested(how envious tony was) and relaxed. "you keep missing out on game night!" the blonde complained.  
"well, there's lots to handle, being an extremely intelligent and busy billionaire" tony replied dryly.  
"there is always time for scrabble!" steve insisted, and tony snorted.

"you should put that on a t-shirt, rogers. it's bloody inspirational."  
"oh shut up, stark" steve said, grinning.  
the two started walking down the stairs to the lounge, still bickering.

"and trust capsicle here to like sCrAbBle" tony announced to the room. rhodey looked up from where he was re-enacting missions to sam from the counter.  
"you're one to talk, tony" bruce said, a smile tugging at his lips as he placed a stack of boardgames on the table. "you fit your stereotype, mr i've-never-lost-a-monopoly-game"

wanda giggled quietly next to clint on the couch, who spoke up loudly. "I don't get why we have to play board games anyway. what's wrong with a little mario kart?"   
steve looked at him distastefully. "I don't understand all the hype around that video game. it's just a bunch of cartoon people driving cars and throwing bananas and snails" 

sam and rhodey burst out laughing as clint stuttered. "that's-oh my god. you absolute fossil"   
steve shook his head. "nothing beats a nice ol board game."   
tony grabbed a fistful of popcorn from a bowl bruce just set on the table. "where's assassin 1 and assassin 2?"he asked through a mouthful, and wanda replied with "they're training still" 

tony nodded, impressed, while clint huffed. "I'm assassin 3?"he asked in disgust, and the others nodded.   
"I'm beyond offended" he said, crossing his arms dramatically.   
"oh, loosen up, legolas. have some popcorn" tony said, offering him the bowl. 

the elevator doors slid open as natasha and bucky walked in, both sweaty and exhausted.   
"you guys were going at it for hours, weren't you!" steve called, innocently oblivious to how the rest of the team immediately started stifling laughter at the innuendo.   
"i imagine you're quite worn out then" tony chimed in, and rhodey stuffed his knuckles in his mouth to cover his sniggers at wanda's obvious confusion. 

"i don't-" she started, but clint yelled "did you pull a muscle?" and bucky blushed slightly, sliding onto the seat beside a bemused steve.   
natasha marched over and flicked his ear.   
"ow" he complained, and she poked her tongue out at him. 

"actual children" bucky muttered, and sam grinned and threw a piece of popcorn at him, which assassin 1 crushed in his metal arm.   
"right. I vote monopoly!" tony exclaimed, and was greeted with boos and protests. "what? cmon, it's fun!"   
"fun for the man who literally understands money and business more than women" sam said, and the others cheered and laughed. 

tony glared at him. "no suit upgrade for you, this week" sam shrugged, smiling wryly  
"okay, let's start off on charades, then work up to pictionary or something" bruce suggested, and wanda and clint agreed, nodding.   
"mr banner, ever the negotiator" tony chirped, clapping the scientist on the back. 

"fuck, I'm shit at pictionary" natasha said, and steve raised an eyebrow at her.   
"oh, sorry grandpa" she deadpanned, flipping him off, and wanda giggled.   
"pictionary is not that bad, natasha" she said, her accented voice quiet. 

"okay ill go first!" clint yelled, bounding up to the centre of the room enthusiastically.   
"okay, so" he held up four fingers.   
"four words" the heroes chorused, and he put up one finger.   
"first word" nat said, and he nodded, then pointed outside. 

"window!" "evening!" "rain!" the team exclaimed, voices overlapping.   
"night!" bruce said, and clint nodded eagerly, beaming.   
the others started mumbling to themselves. "night... night in.. hmm.." 

clint waved for their attention, and held up his fourth finger. tony grinned at clint's hyperactivity, and yelled "fourth word!"   
the archer began making strange movements, motioning that there was a huge sort of box.   
they all stared at him in confusion, and he sighed, continuing to make out there was a big square object. 

"rubix cube!" yelled sam, and clint glowered at him, shaking his head.   
this continued for another five minutes, clint desperately flapping his arms, the avengers staring at him with a mix of amusement and pity. 

"alright, I'm calling it" tony said, and clint let out a groan of frustration.   
"NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM!" he wailed, and bucky started laughing. "how in the world would we have gotten that?"   
"yeah, clint. even for you, that was terrible" nat said, smirking.   
"you are all deluded and now dead to me" clint muttered, throwing himself down on the floor beside wanda. 

"i have never seen that movie" wanda said, and tony gasped. "game night cancelled! you have to see it oh my god"   
"tony it's not that good, there's a lot of plotholes" rhodey said dryly, and tony scowled.   
"who gives a fuck about plotholes? it has a giant t rex and sacagawea"

"what is a sacagawea? " steve asked curiously, and tony pinched his nose. "you guys are going to kill me"   
steve looked on helplessly as natasha started doing an impression of some character from the film while the others cracked up... what the hell was gum gum for dum dum? 

"let's play spin the bottle!" sam cried, and rhodey hit him with a pillow.   
"go to horny jail" bruce deadpanned, and clint fell on the floor laughing.   
"okay, let's play pictionary, then we'll educate dear wanda and watch night at the museum!" said rhodey, and the others cheered. 

"wanda's first!" clint insisted, and she blushed. "everyone knows she's amazing at drawing"   
"am not" she mumbled, face scarlet and partially hidden behind her coppery hair.   
they all protested, and tony started chanting WANDA! WANDA!   
she sighed but got up and grabbed the whiteboard and marker from the box on the table.

"dog!" clint yelled, before her pen even touched the pad, and she glared at him. natasha leaned forward and flicked his ear again .   
wanda started to draw, sketching vague lines, but stopped instantly at JARVIS's exclamation.   
"sorry to interrupt, but there appears to be a disturbance 10 blocks away" 

steve was the first to react, jumping to his feet with a "what sort of disturbance, JARVIS?"   
"there seems to be some sort of mutant or someone with the ability to control other people's actions. currently, there are a dozen civilians wreaking havoc" 

sam groaned but got to his feet like the others. they all ran off to go to their various rooms and grab their equipment and suit up.  
clint's boot caught on the ground and he fell flat on his face as they dashed down the corridor, and bucky choked down a laugh.   
"have a nice trip, aGeNt barton?" he asked, and clint held up his middle finger as he lay spread-eagled on the floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooOoOOoOooOoooOooooh... also does anyone want me to give peter a love interest or... maybe in like 50 chapter's time 😂
> 
> I'm thinking of giving wanda MJ as a girlfriend? would that be fun... pls let me know what u think :))


	8. fun fact: janet is me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter names his AI! at last! the writer stopped putting it off! HAH!
> 
> also clint and tony squabbling over custody for their spiderchild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in pai n  
> I typed this whole thing out only to select it all and click delete because I'm a nonce. 
> 
> after REWRITING it  
> which took aGES  
> here u are. bon appetit muthafuckas

peter froze, his spoon of oatmeal halfway to his mouth as his AI spoke.  
"there's some crazy shit happenin downtown, boss" she said brightly, and peter sighed.  
he'd just gotten back home, and thought he'd have time for a quick snack before heading out. apparently not.

peter pushed back his sopping hair as he set down his half-eaten bowl and grabbed a couple of vials of webfluid.  
he hadn't yet refilled his webs, so he tried to do that as quickly as possible as his AI explained what was happening.

"there's like this wierdo with an ability to control people, so there's like a bunch of people stealing stuff and wrecking things. fights are breaking out and that."  
"thank you!" peter grunted as he flipped the hatch shut on his second webshooter, and then stepping into his suit hurriedly

"ain't no trouble, chief" she quipped, and he smirked.  
"right. lights off to save power, please." peter said as he pulled on his mask, and he heard her voice say "as you wish"

the dangling bulbs shut off behind him as peter leapt up out of the trapdoor, blinking in the rain.  
it was still spitting, it had calmed down as he'd walked that poor woman home.  
she'd invited him inside for a cuppa many times, but peter insisted he really should get home.

she'd given him one last hug, before going inside to join her worried family.  
bless her, he thought, as he swung through the dark streets, following the instructions impatiently stated in his ears.  
"you know, I really should give you a name" peter said as he released his web strand and ran across the vertical glass panes of a tall building.

"i mean, I'd like to have one" she replied, and he smiled. "of course. lemme think"  
they swapped ideas for names back and forth, before one suddenly came to him.  
"you know the show The Good Place?"

"of course" she said, with the voice equivalent of an eye roll.  
"well there's like a personal assistant robot woman-"  
"janet?" his AI asked, and peter nodded.  
"that's the one. me and-well. me and aunt may would watch it together sometimes. she was her favourite character" peter said, his voice getting slightly choked up.

"she thought she was really funny" peter said, swallowing the lump in his throat.  
"aunt may sounds like she was a real g" the AI said, and peter gave a choked laugh.  
"she really was. she once forgot I was allergic to red peppers, and added them to this awful soup thing she'd made-"

peter didn't realise how good it felt to share his memories, to talk about how fun his aunt was. sure, it was heart-wrenching to even think about his dead family, but he found it felt nice to talk about them, even if it was with a robot.

"she felt so bad" peter said, chuckling. "she did all my chores for a week after that"  
"i wish I could have met her" the voice whispered in his ear, and he nodded.  
that was such a human thing to say, this showed how much his AI's code was progressing, developing the equivalent of a personality.

"so, would you like to call me janet?" she asked, and peter hummed, flipping and jumping off a lamppost.  
"only if you'd like to be called that" peter insisted.

"fun fact: janet is me!" she stated, a hint of pride in her voice, and peter laughed at the reference.  
"okay then, janet" he said "how far away am I?"  
"nearly there, sire" 

"nat! behind you!" sam called, and nat turned and ducked as a large woman in her 40s swung her handbag at her furiously.  
"thanks birdface" she replied calmly, grabbing the woman's arms and restraining her from hurting herself or anyone around her.

it was difficult to 'fight crime' when the criminals were innocent and unable to control themselves.  
tony and steve were working on locating the mutant that was causing all the trouble, but in the meantime the others were focusing on trying to prevent all these people from blowing up cars or wrestling mindlessly in the streets.

wanda panted with effort as she held back a wave of elderly people from bludgeoning another group of basically zombies.  
"any progress, cap?" she asked, sweat beading on her forehead as pulses of crimson magic restrained more and more people.  
"sorry, no. they were spotted leaving through this alley, but they must know the area because we're having trouble finding them" steve's tinny voice came from her earpiece.

"well if you could please hurry up, calippo, cuz I'm nearly out of narrows" said clint from his usual high-up spot.  
"the fuck is a narrow?" asked sam, ignoring cap's bark of 'language! we are avengers!'  
"he thinks he's being clever." nat stated dryly, casually judo-flipping the shit out of someone who'd managed to get a hold of a pistol. "he's mixed net and arrow. narrow"

"dude, that's not even... remotely... why do I even expect anything from you.." sam said, and laughed when he saw a tiny clint down below flip him off.

"hey guys, can we keep focused, please?" cap asked, his voice serious, indicating his current captain mode. "we can't-"  
he was cut off by clint excitedly yelling, his voice screeching in the comms.  
"SPIDEEYYYYYYY!" he shrieked, and nat glanced up to see him furiously waving at a well-known figure swinging towards them.

"barton, my fucking ears-" bucky started to say angrily, but was drowned out by clint's excited words  
"NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US, MY PROTÉGÉ!" he yelled, and the masked individual swung over to him, flipping and landing beside him.  
clint grinned widely and held up his hand for a high five.

the younger man obliged, but said with some exasperation "you don't have to shout, you know. superhearing n all that jazz"  
"oh yeah!" clint said sheepishly "I forgot"  
clint looked away, distracted for a moment, as tony yelled in his ear.  
"IF ANYTHING HE'S MY PROTÉGÉ, THIRD BEST ASSASSIN!"

spiderman started laughing, apparently he could hear him.  
clint glanced at him, and then down at the chaos on the streets.  
"hey cap! I vote we let spidey connect to the comms!" he said thoughtfully, and smiled as he heard the noises of agreement from the other teammates  
"I'm not sure, clint.." steve said uneasily.

"oh cmon, spangles! i made the damn system, can I override?" tony's voice crackles through, and clint watched as spiderman's mask shifted slightly ; the man/boy was evidently smiling.  
"what do you think, buck?" steve asked, grunting with effort as he sprinted through the alleys in search of the mutant.

"i say go for it" the other supersoldier replied. "he's essentially part of the team, and it'd be useful to coordinate his way of fighting with ours"

"hang on, hang on" nat's voice interrupted. "does spiderman get a say in this? what's his opinion?"  
clint glanced up at the red and blue man questioningly.  
the hero took a deep breath, then nodded.  
"I'd be hon-that'd be cool, yeah" he said, his usually confident voice wavering slightly.

clint offered him a calming smile. "he's up for it!" he said, and heard cheers from wanda and rhodey and the others.  
"okay, cool. do you wanna go find stark and he can sort it all out?" the archer asked, pressing several black buttons on his shiny silver quiver to select >TASER ARROW

spiderman shook his head. "no no it's simple, mr stark can just tell me the access code and I can connect my A- my system"  
clint wondered what he was going to say instead of system, but tony yelled into the comms.  
"HE CALLS ME MR STARK! I LIKE THIS KID"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh calippo is a type of ice lolly btw lmao
> 
> also I haven't seen the good place, I'd love to cuz it looks really funny but alas.  
> sorry if the ending was a bit abrupt aha
> 
> thank u so much to everyone that suggested names for the AI, it made my day knowing people out in the world care where this fic goes n that.  
> warms my dead cold heart x


	9. prepubescent kid in a onesie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> petey banters w the avengers some more, and impresses tony with his science intel
> 
> also clint is a hyperactive five year old inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got my gcse results and ngl I did fucking amazing 💅   
> the fact I don't have to retake maths is >>>>>>
> 
> also it's annoying to write only their hero names from peter's POV, but I wanna make it so he only calls them by their actual names once he meets them as peter!

ten minutes later, peter was working on connecting to the avengers's comms, and he was desperately trying not to freak. sure, he'd fought with the heroes a lot, but for once he actually felt like part of the team.  
part of the AVENGERS.

if only peter aged nine could see me now, he thought slightly giddily, as he dodged a sloppy punch from a young boy.  
"you been connected, boi!" janet exclaimed in his head, and he smiled and took a deep breath, throwing a thumbs up at the archer on the building.

the beep indicated he was now online.

"yoohoo! " he said in a singsong voice.   
a moment of silence. then...  
his mask exploded with numerous voices greeting him and thanking him for joining them... it was extremely heart-warming, even if the loud voices were dizzying him slightly.

"guys! shut up!" he heard mr barton say angrily, and peter laughed slightly, wincing.  
"ow..." he muttered, and the man apologised on behalf of his teammates   
"apoligies, spiderman." captain america said quietly, and peter chuckled.  
"tis peachy. il just turn down the volume a bit"

the next half hour passed slowly, with the team talking strategies and theories back and forth as they tried their best to stop the chaos. 

peter glanced around at the warning buzz in his neck, and he felt panic as he saw a policeman with a gun to another man's head. there were so many struggles around the block, as more and more people seemed to be succumbing to the mind control.

peter sprinted towards them and fired a web, tugging the weapon out of the cop's hand. it skittered across the tarmac, and peter snatched it up and stuck it up high on a wall so no one could reach it.  
"OH MAN!" came from his earpiece, along with a "oh, the git!"  
"what's the matter, lads?" peter huffed as he tackled the policeman, who had resorted to pummelling his victim into the ground

"all the ruckus was a distraction. the mutant's main goal was to steal some weaponry from oscorp"  
peter snickered at 'ruckus', and he heard iron man yell HA!   
"don't be too miserable, tones" said hawkeye amusedly. 

"well it's not my fault oscorp has such a shitty security system" the billionaire crowed, and captain america let out a little dissapproving 'hmphh'  
"pep's gonna have a fuckin field day" 

the supersoldier cleared his throat pointedly.   
"oh chill cap, i got him anyway, trailing his van now" said iron man smugly.   
"wait, time out, chaps" the young hero said, pausing in his action of webbing a few aggressive tourists to the brick alley wall. he stuttered a quick apology, knowing they weren't in control of their actions.

"are these the same weapons-"  
"like the one that nearly sent natasha to the moon, yeah" hawkeye finished, and he heard the black widow laugh dryly.

"how does oscorp keep losing their shit?" peter asked in disbelief, swiping on the little screen he'd installed on his right webshooter so he could change the webfluid's properties during patrol.  
currently his webs were a bit too strong, as the civilians didn't need to be held too long, only an hour or so until they caught the mutant.

"language!" barked captain america, and peter sniggered.  
"cmon steve-" he heard the winter soldier start.  
"he sounds like he's twelve!" the other soldier argued, and peter shook his head, smiling.

"i am deeply sorry, mr america your highness. i promise to you that i will be on my very best behaviour" peter stated dryly, and he heard black widow and scarlet witch laugh.  
"oh shut up, kid" he heard the captian say, but it was with fondness.

"hey, kid, can you give me some help over here?" said the winter soldier, and peter rolled his eyes but obeyed, running off to where he'd last seen the shaggy-haired sniper.  
"since when did ya'll decide I'm a kid? I could be in my thirties, thank you. I like gossiping over tea, I'm practically an old woman already"

he heard some of the heroes snigger.   
"it's true! I wouldn't say no to a good ol game of chess either-"  
"oh god, he's not a mini tony after all" hawkeye said with horror. "he's a miniature bruce!"

peter burst out laughing, and as he approached a struggling winter soldier who was fending off a crowd of angry men who'd clearly just staggered out from the pub, he saw the man was smiling wryly.  
"i mean" he said, chuckling, firing a few webs and yanking them, tugging the men towards him. "id be deeply honoured to be a mini version of any of you legends"

voices overlapped in the comms, some laughing, some scoffing, some thanking him.   
peter smiled in his mask as the winter soldier grinned at him. 

"AHA! come here you sneaky little shit-" iron man muttered over the comms, and peter and the supersoldier beside him both laughed loudly.   
"as much as we appreciate the running commentary-" the black widow's voice crackled over the system. 

"got him!" mr stark said triumphantly, and peter cheered.   
"THANK you, spidey. nice to be appreciated" 

peter zoned out of the comms for the next few minutes, as the street filled with more and more people mindlessly being violent and destructive. he watched as the black widow did some jackie chan shit of her own, flipping and slamming some people with fire extinguishers into the ground. 

it wouldn't be long now, iron man had the mutant, it'd all be under control soon. 

"uhh petey... 3 o clock!" janet chimed in his ear, slightly louder than the jumbled voices issuing from the team system.   
peter spun around to see a black sedan screeching down the road, people scrambling out of the way.   
peter glanced at the winter soldier, who nodded, and they shared an understanding. 

the vigilante braced his legs as the car zoomed towards him, showing no sign of stopping.   
he was faintly aware of hawkeye screeching in his ears, but peter focused, and he stretched out his red and blue arms. 

WHAM! the sleek black car slammed into him, but instead of peter flying backward, the car was slowed, pushing the teenager back as he gripped the car's hood and dug his heels in to the ground.  
the heroes yelling in his ears was slightly distracting as the car slowed to a stop, peter's fingers leaving handprint dents in the metal. 

peter panted and let go of the vehicle, smirking as the supersoldier in black armour yanked open the car door and dragged the guy with glazed eyes out. he tried to throw a punch, but the soldier just grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. 

peter winced as the voices exploded in the comms and appreciated that the winter soldier took notice of his discomfort and shouted "QUIET YOU DICKWADS, HE'S GOT SENSITIVE EARS!"   
"oh shit yeah-"   
"we were just saying how-"   
"FUCKING AWESOME-"   
"how the hell-" 

the winter soldier rolled his eyes, but looked at the boy with a mildly impressed look.   
"that was some cool shit." he stated simply, ignoring hawkeye who yelled "IT WAS NOT COOL! IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! THIS PREPUBESCENT KID IN A ONESIE JUST TACKLED A FUCKIN CAR-"   
"prepubescent?" peter said indignantly at the same time he heard the falcon chuckle "onesie" 

"FELLAS! heads up, mutant has surrendered thanks to my charms, and is now ceasing his mutanty stuff"   
"modest" grumbled captain america. "well done, though" 

"oh yeah, it's all stopping now!" he heard wanda say with evident relief. her voice sounded strained, she was clearly exhausted. peter had seen how much she had to handle when he'd passed by a few times. 

peter glanced around and saw she was right ; people were looking around dazedly, obviously they hadn't retained any memory of the past hour.   
he walked over and helped up a blinking woman from where she had been stabbing the ground with a small pocketknife (? lol) and smiled at the banter in his ears. 

"hey, janet" he started. "could you please switch out my webfluid for my web dissolver"   
"with pleasure, my comrade" she said pleasantly, and he felt the small rotation as the vials swapped on the black device on his wrist. 

twenty minutes later, all the heroes present at the fight were standing around the street. captain america and the war machine werehaving quite a serious conversation with an army of police officers, who had arrived prepared to take down a riot.

he felt someone tap him on the shoulder, so peter turned to find a beaming hawkeye.  
"i knew you were strong, dude! but that was some cap shit!"   
peter snorted. "babe, there are no limits to my amazingness"  
"I'll say" said tony stark, stepping out of his suit and sauntering over.

"nice shades" peter said dryly, and the man grinned.  
"can't hurt to keep a pair on ya at all time, can it?" he said, nudging the young hero.  
"i imagine you came out of the womb wearing sunglasses, your lordship" he deadpanned, pleased to hear laughter scattered around the group.

iron man snarked something back, but peter cocked his head to listen to janet.  
"uhh peter...left webshooter has just jammed"  
"again?" peter exclaimed, annoyed.  
"again what?" asked the scarlet witch curiously, rubbing her sore arms. 

"oh, nothing... just.. voices in the head, ya know." he said coolly, then added jokingly "no, mr subconscious, im not gonna attach webs to mr stark's suit and dangle below him when he flies off like a christmas ornament"

the others laughed, but black widow raised an eyebrow, and there it was again. that calculating look, like she was scanning him for clues so she could piece together his identity.

"like you could" retorted the very man, and peter smirked, absent-mindedly slapping his left webshooter to see if he could get it working again.  
"i dunno, you ever google how strong spidersilk is, nitinol man?"

the dishevelled man with sunglasses stared at him while the others chuckled.  
"how the hell do you know what my suit is made of?" he demanded, and peter tapped his nose.  
"i have my ways... my extreme, unmatched intelligence, that is"

"no, no, he is a mini tony after all" he heard the winter soldier mutter to the others.  
iron man came closer, and peter forced himself not to back away.  
"you clever, kid?" he asked interestedly, and peter smiled smugly.  
"when I want to be" he answered casually. "which is all the time, by the way"

"uh huh, I gathered" the man with the goatee said dryly. "but seriously, how did you know?"  
peter snickered. "cmon it was easy, people call you iron man when iron is way too shitty for your suit, it'd weigh you down! so the options would be some sort of titanium, and given the stuff your suit can do, I'd say its probably nitinol"

the group stared at him.  
"nitinol being a nickel-titanium alloy" he added as an explanation, but recieved no response.  
"actually, there's probably a combination of graphite and carbon fiber mixed in as well-" he continued before the genius cut him off

"you interested in sciences? "he asked dryly, his unimpressed voice not disguising his evident amazement.   
"bloody hell, he SMART smart" the falcon said.  
"considering i can swear in periodic table.." peter drawled, winking.

"demonstration? please?" the winter soldier pleaded, and beside him hawkeye nodded eagerly. peter smirked and opened his mouth to rattle off an ungodly amount of swears.  
"let's leave the cussing for another day, shall we? " said captain america, striding towards them.  
clint pouted, and peter chuckled.   
"yes!" he exclaimed excitedly, when he felt the small signature click in the black gadget attached to his wrist that told him the blockage had been dislodged. 

"you're wierd, man" the winter soldier said, and peter couldn't resist yanking up his mask halfway to poke his tongue out.   
"ciao, my accomplices. this has been fun" he said, pulling his mask back down and beginning to back away. 

"oh dude! you always leave so early!" the falcon protested, ignoring the black widow slapping his wrist with a 'let him leave, jesus!'   
"yeah, do you wanna come and hang at the compound with us?" asked the archer with dirty blonde hair excitedly, and iron man huffed.   
"oh, sure. just go around inviting people back to my house" he said with mock annoyance.   
"we're playing board games! wanda here is killer at pictionary, and you could play chess with bruce!" mr banner continued, ignoring the whiny mechanic. 

peter rubbed his neck thoughtfully as some of the heroes started bickering. he really shouldn't...   
like he couldn't risk it... but then again.. dr bruce banner??   
"im sorry, I gotta pass... i got... big manly adult stuff to do.. taxes, cooking for my family of 11..."peter said, jokingly making his voice deeper. 

"very convincing" the black widow said amusedly. "and that's absolutely fine, catch you later"   
she glared at the others, and her steely gaze shut up hawkeye and the winter soldier immediately.   
"twas a pleasure kicking ass with you" he yelled as he swung away. 

"see ya, prepubescent kid in a onesie!" called scarlet witch, and he turned midair to flip her off. she laughed and held up her own ring-clad middle finger   
"the pleasure, im sure, was theirs" said janet, and he laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruh I'm so hungry


	10. peter the OP waiter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter gets a really nice job and is a happy lad!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit short, but I've made up for it with wholesomeness
> 
> also if u don't know who danny zuko is we can't be freinds x

peter pushed his curly brown locks out of his eyes as he mentally steeled himself.  
right, pete, don't fuck this up.

he gripped his bag and pushed through the metal doors round the back of the restaurant. people were rushing all about, clearly it was a busy night.  
"watch it, mate!" an annoyed voice called out, and peter backed up against the wall as a black-haired guy with heavily tattooed arms wheeled a large cart past, stacked with tottering piles of dirty dishes.

"you the new kid?"  
peter looked down the hall to see a tanned smart-looking man with gelled hair leaning casually against the doorframe, ignoring the bustle of various waiters and chefs milling around him.  
"yes sir!" peter said earnestly, jogging up to him.  
"you not changed yet?" he asked, his voice silky and a bit intimidating with a strong italian accent.   
peter glanced down at his stained, ripped jeans and camo tee. "oh, no. sorry, was I meant to-"

"it's cool, it's cool." the man said, waving a hand airily. "some of our people get changed here. come on"  
and on that note, the danny zuko lookalike turned swiftly and marched off down the hall, leaving peter to hurriedly scramble after him.

thank god for his superhearing, he wouldn't have heard the man explain where everything was over all the racket around them.  
"this" he said, gesturing to a small cubicle next to a vending machine at the end of the hall "is where you can change."

peter thanked him, hoisting his bag off his shoulders. the man nodded and made to walk off, but stopped.  
"oh, right. sorry kid, the name's mark, but everyone calls me paprika, so you might as well"  
peter chuckled, and was relieved to see paprika smile, showing straight white teeth.

"so, get settled in, don't be worried if you drop a plate or two on your first day. but as soon as my shift is over, you are gonna have to deal with my slightly pissy other half, carlos. he may not be so forgiving"  
the teenager nodded, smiling. this guy was much nicer than he'd expected a manager of a fancy nyc restaurant to be

"now" paprika said, pointing at the cubicle. "change."   
peter nodded again, and walked down to the cramped little room.   
he quickly stripped once inside, tugging on his crisp white shirt and smart black trousers.   
he'd been very lucky to snag this job, as it was good pay, and the shift only fell upon the same time as his usual patrol time once in a week. 

granted he didn't have any actual qualifications, it was a surprise that the owner of the restaurant had taken him on.   
maria, a smart young woman with catlike features and frizzy hair had liked his 'energy', and due to the fact peter was clearly extremely intelligent and also a quick learner, she'd thought they'd be useful qualities as a waiter. 

peter looked at the small mirror on the inside of the cabinet, unwrapping the small plastic bag containing a sleek black tie.   
he deftly unfolded the material, and made quick work of looping the ends and forming a bow tie, suppressing the wave of emotional nostalgia as he remembered how aunt may had taught him on the night of a school dance. 

right. show time, peter thought, desperately trying to make himself look presentable in front of the mirror. he raked his hands through the brown curls on his head before shoving his casual clothes into his rucksack and snatching it up. 

he stepped out into the hall, and jogged down past rushing waiters to the area where paprika had told him to leave his bag.   
ten minutes later, peter was reciting the menu options in his head as he ferried trays laden with various nice-smelling foods that costed more than his entire wardrobe over to golden tables. 

paprika had informed peter as he dumped a bunch of dishes into a frothy sink in the kitchen that the fourth waiter/waitress of his shift hadn't arrived, so he shouldn't feel overwhelmed with the amount of work.   
"she's new, too. you guys can learn together" he said with a relaxed grin, and peter thought how cool it was that he was so easygoing despite having an extremely busy job. 

currently he was memorising the dairy-free desserts on the menu. what even was a dairy-substitute chocolate-cherry torte with a swirl of hazelnut sauce, and why was it deemed fit for human consumption? 

"table 21. and clear table 23 while you're at it" the chef with a moustache barked, sliding the next few plates across the metal partition. 

peter nodded and walked swiftly across the large room. it was impressive. lots of big round tables with golden tablecloths, candles, even silver gilded cutlery.   
your attention was drawn to the delicate chandelier dangling in the middle of the room, with its slender shards that gleamed brightly. 

peter slapped on his friendly grin as he set down the dishes carefully on the table, and the people ooohed in appreciation.   
even though he'd had a rough week trying to find employment, and he was more hungry than ever considering he was forced to inhale the sweet, spicy smells of posh food wafting into his nose every second, peter found it was easy to smile. 

he'd got this awesome job, and he wasn't half bad at it too.   
he was way faster than the other waiters, and it was child's play to stack up more and more dishes on each arm, watching amusedly as the fellow people on his shift tried to balance their dishes too, only to gawk when peter swiftly caught their falling plates as well. 

"five serviettes, please" a woman with earrings bigger than peter's self esteem asked politely, and he nodded, grinning.   
he went and snatched a couple for her from a nearby trolley (serviette, he had learned, meant napkin). 

peter straightened his tie and made his way back to the kitchen ; an old man had rudely grabbed his elbow as he passed and told him to ask if there was any peanuts in the mushroom stew.  
why the fuck would there be peanuts in a mushroom stew, peter thought as he pushed open the metal door. 

"-fine, she's very busy a lot of the time."   
he heard paprika in a heated conversation with the neatly-shaved bad-tempered man called carlos   
he was red in the face and clearly frustrated.   
"she's 17, how damn busy can she be?" he spat, jaw clenching. 

peter quietly went over to the bunch of chefs that were hurriedly chopping clusters of various herbs and meats in the corner and whispered the question about the stew.   
he did the superhearing equivalent of 'tuning in', and heard paprika say "listen, il compagno (buddy), she's got some seriously high clearance, do you think maria would take on a slacker? let it go, my friend" 

peter walked back over to the double doors, but heard paprika exclaim "ah, parker!"   
peter turned, and saw carlos striding off down the hall.   
"your shiftmate, willow, hasn't shown up this time, but i promise you it will be much easier tommorow with marika" paprika said apologetically, and peter smiled.   
"it's no trouble at all! thank you for telling me" he said brightly, and the italian clapped him on the shoulder. 

the man had explained to peter about his shifts, how he mostly had to work with willow as a shiftmate, but with marika on wednesdays.   
peter really, really hoped they were nice. 

"you are a promising worker, parker. very natural manners and a nice way about you, considering the amount of tips you have acquired" he said, smirking and looking down at peter's bulging pocket.   
"hurry along and put them in your bag, don't want any money falling out, eh?" he drawled, winking. 

peter nodded earnestly and jogged down the halls to where his bag was.   
this day was going amazing, he thought giddily as he fumbled around with his rucksack. best one he'd had in... a long time.   
the amount of money he'd earned in just the first three hours of his shift was more than he'd earned in a week. 

two hours left, and then maybe he could celebrate his new job with a pizza?   
oh fuck, i'd murder the president with an ice cube for pizza, he thought.   
peter hurried back, his stomach rumbling loudly at the idea of actual takeaway food!   
"you, boy! take this to francis in the kitchens!" someone yelled behind him, and peter turned as the guy with tattoos shoved a box into his arms. 

despite the occasional snobby arsehole, the majority of the people in the restaurant were polite and respected him. respect was something peter parker rarely experienced. respect was something spiderman was used to. 

peter parker spent the rest of his shift with a giddy, cheerful feeling inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok I'm sorry I have no idea how jobs work or whatever SUE ME
> 
> also yes 'willow' may not actually be the real name of peter's shift mate...


	11. reunion!! also willow the less OP waitress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter reunites with some old friends!  
> also 'willow' is a pretty shit waiter so he helps out!
> 
> wholesome peter is the best peter fite me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's so wholesome I cr i
> 
> also this took me ages to write so u better njoy it u little shits  
> jk lov u all rly  
> can u tell jm tired

peter hummed happily as he walked down the street towards the restaurant, one hand clutching the strap of his bag.   
he eyed a puddle on the pavement, and jumped in it, sloshing rainwater all over his trainers.   
I mean, cmon. pete was 16, yeah, but he wasn't dead inside. yet.

the reason for his happiness was partly how good his job was going.. yes he'd only done two days of it, and the shiftmate he had yesterday, marika, was a right bitch, but the main reason was who he'd bumped into last night.

peter had ordered a pizza as soon as he'd left the restaurant, ordering over the phone.   
he hadn't even changed yet, just stood in line to collect his cardboard box filled with seratonin.  
he was literally bouncing up and down with excitement, but his heart nearly stopped when he neared the front of the line.

there she was. MJ. she looked no different than when he'd mysteriously dropped out of school and ran off on his own, unable to cope with losing his entire family. he couldn't bear being around anyone.

she hadn't looked up yet, she just tapped away impatiently on the screen, the hazel curls that had escaped her red cap dangling in her face.  
peter gulped, the joy ebbing away and being replaced by unsure anxiety. should he run? get away now before she'd even seen-

"parker?" MJ asked, disbelief evident on her face. she stood upright and crossed her arms, still staring.  
peter opened his mouth, but found he didn't know what the hell to say to his former friend who he kinda just left without saying goodbye.

he closed it and waved awkwardly.  
her eyes were hard, her expression unreadable. a bit like the black widow that way.  
"are you pepperoni and chicken?" she asked suddenly, glancing down at the screen.  
"i-you-what??" peter stammered with surprise.

"is. that. your. pizza?" she repeated, refusing to look up.  
"yeah, yeah it is. but-"  
"just take the pizza and meet me outside in 10" she said, her voice steely.  
clearly the invitation was not up for negotiation.

"i-okay" peter said in a small voice, before reaching out to take the pizza box.

ten minutes later, peter was grinning despite the situation, inhaling his favourite food.  
he was sat on the curb of the grimy alley outside the pizza place, the midnight street illuminated by the ugly neon sign hanging above his head.

he crammed the last slice into his mouth hurriedly, but paused in his frantic chewing when he heard a dull female voice say "you still eat like a pig"  
peter set down his empty pizza box and looked up as MJ joined him on the curb.  
she sighed with relief as she took off the red cap and tugged through her hair.

"y-you look great" peter said, wincing at how guilty he sounded.  
she fixed him with an unimpressed look as she continued to card her fingers through her tangled hair

"so. what's your deal, parker?" she asked calmly.  
peter shrugged. "I just, it was too much after may died, so I left"  
MJ glared at him. "I think you forgot to call home, didn't you"

"listen, im sorry that-"  
"PETER MCFUCKING PARKER, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HURT NED WAS? YOUR BEST FRIEND, YOU JUST ABANDONED HIM WITHOUT ANY WORDS! HE THOUGHT YOU'D HAVE DIED BEFORE YOU LEFT HIM!" she yelled, voice echoing angrily around the alley.

peter was so conflicted. so many emotions.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly, and she stopped her rant, breathing hard.  
"well. you can fuckin make it up to him. now come with me or are you gonna run away again?" she asked, eyes flashing. 

"huh?" peter asked, but she'd already stood up and was walking down to the end of the road.  
"come on!" she called impatiently, and he scrambled to his feet, clutching the pizza box.  
dumping it in a near recycling bin, he followed MJ down the winding streets until they stood outside a little cafe, that was surprisingly still open at this time.

MJ pushed open the door, and he heard her exchange words with someone wiping the counter.  
peter stepped in cautiously, and she grabbed his arm and led him down the little stairs to another room full of little tables and chairs.

MJ threw herself down in a chair, putting her booted feet up on the wooden surface of the table.  
peter sat down carefully on a chair, still confused.  
underneath all the guilt, the grief, the fear.. there was a little elation. elation at seeing his friend again.

although all of the pain and guilt that peter had shoved down within him for a year and a half was being dredged up, he couldn't help but feel happy as he watched MJ sit weirdly on her chair, stubbornly not meeting his gaze as she tapped away on her phone.   
same old MJ.

"are you gonna keep staring?" she snapped, and he shook his head.  
"no. sorry. I just, its good to see you, MJ" he said meaningfully, and she finally looked up.  
the emotions on her face were less disguised now ; was that a little fondness? probably not, considering the girl in front of him would probably like to stab him in the thigh with a knitting needle given the chance

"good to see you too, petey" she said finally, voice betraying some emotion.  
peter smiled hesitantly at her over the table, hoping it showed how sorry he was, but how happy he was to see her again.  
they started talking. it was hesitant and restrained, but after a few minutes the awkwardness melted away and their old balance exposed itself 

he was laughing at the little tag on the front of her white polo uniform shirt that read 'Miche', clearly an unfortunate yet amusing error, when in walked ned. 

peter smiled at the memory of him and ned sobbing while clutching each other as he walked down the path, the restaurant's sign glinting dimly in the evening light.  
he felt comforted, knowing he had his friends again.  
the trio had spent hours talking. sometimes it was peter recounting funny incidents on his patrol (MJ had figured out he was spiderman a month before his sudden departure), and sometimes it was peter crying as they reassured him. 

he wasn't alone anymore. 

peter clicked open the messages on his phone, his mood lightening even more when he saw a text from ned.  
they'd exchanged their new numbers last night

nednedned: hey man, do u still like those mango smoothies? we can get some after ur shift if u want!

peter quickly sent his reply as he pushed open the metal doors and made to set his bag down in the usual spot, grabbing his uniform folded neatly in a bag

yeeterparkour: that'd be great! if u still like those pistachio muffins we could get some of those :))

"hey parker! on your best behaviour please, friends of the restaurant owner are at table 19" called paprika as he passed.  
"as you wish, sire" peter said, bowing low.  
paprika chuckled and shook his head as he walked off.

peter hurried to the cubicle and changed. he'd meant to change at the warehouse but he hadn't had time due to the long talk with his friends.   
straightening his tie, he combed his fingers through his messy hair before reaching for the doorknob. 

peter yelped as he swung the cubicle door open and came face to face with a teenage girl about his age with long coppery brown hair and surprised brown eyes.   
but... there was something familiar.. 

oh my god. it was the scarlet witch. oh my gOD   
"I.. uh.. sorry!" peter stammered, stepping out of the way.  
what the fuck was an avenger doing here? had she figured out his identity? 

"oh, sorry. i just need to change" she said, her accented voice quiet.   
peter nodded earnestly, trying not to stare as the hero edged into the cubicle and shut the door.   
what the fU-  
"PARKER! get to it!" someone yelled behind him, and he backed away past the vending machine. 

what the hell what the hell what the hell, peter chanted in his head as he grabbed tray and began his work  
he was maybe ten minutes into the shift, collecting empty glasses on a vacant table onto a tray, smiling and nodding at the posh people nearby. 

his mind was spinning. why the hell was she here? did she actually work here? 

peter pushed through the metal double doors with his elbow, the dirty glasses clinking on his tray.   
"peter! there you are" yelled a familiar smooth voice, and he saw paprika standing by the kitchen doors with the hero, who was now dressed in a crisp white long-sleeved shirt and black pants like him 

oh god. peter approached nervously, but with a fake air of confidence.   
"hey" he said cheerily, ignoring the hammering in his heart. 

"this" the manager said, gesturing to the avenger who was standing there awkwardly, twisting her rings on her fingers. "is willow, your shiftmate"

ahh. that was why no one was freaking out about the fact a literal avenger was there in the room with them.  
well, peter thought as he smiled politely at her, i do get secret identities. even if the extremely intelligent cover of 'wanda' to 'willow' was a tad disappointing. 

"im peter parker" he exclaimed, offering his fist for a fistbump.  
she looked slightly confused for a second, and peter panicked a bit at the brief recognition flickering in her features before she obliged.

paprika laughed, his velvety smooth chuckle easing the situation.  
"I've already shown her where everything is, so you guys can get going now" he called as he walked off.  
"right" peter said, rocking on his heels. "let the festivities commence!" 

'willow' smiled shyly, and followed the fellow teenager into the dining room.

peter worked as efficiently as ever, wiping down tables with the cloth he kept tucked in the back pocket of his smart black trousers, carrying trays with various drinks and dishes, etc.

the brunette proved to be quite a nervous, timid shiftmate. willow was quick on her feet, but was evidently quite clumsy and could only handle so many trays at a time. she also wasn't the best at taking orders, peter noticed she stammered and flushed red (appropriate), so he decided to step in  
"hey" he said quietly, catching up to her on the golden stairs that led to the upper level where the REALLY fancy tables were.

"want me to take most of the orders?" he offered with a friendly smile. "it wouldn't be any problem. i like talking to people!"  
"even if they look at you like you're something on the bottom of their shoe?" the avenger said bitterly, and he shrugged.  
"i don't mind really. it's just the way it is, and why let someone else's bad mood ruin yours? besides, this is the dream job compared to my last one"

"where did you work before?" the brunette asked curiously, and he sighed wearily. "newspaper job. it was utter shit, they barely paid me"  
"oh, I'm sorry" she said. she looked it, too.  
peter grinned reassuringly.  
"tis alright, mate. im just so glad i get to do this" he said brightly, looking round at the high ceiling and shining windows and gleaming silver lanterns.

"anyway, we should get back to work. paprika will have my hide" he said solemnly, and she giggled.  
they began their work again, and peter only just realised how open he'd been with her.  
shit, he gotta be more careful. if she figured out who he was...

the next few hours passed without much excitement, not surprising considering it was literally his third day.  
when his shift was nearing its close, he wiped his brow and checked his clean white shirt didnt have sweat patches (he nearly never sweated much outside of his spiderman suit, he never had any chance to exert himself when not on patrol) 

peter was still wondering why the scarlet witch needed to work in a restaurant as a waitress. surely her living was paid for by iron man?   
he was interrupted from his thoughts by wanda waving her pale hand in front of his face.   
"wuh?" he said, and she rolled her eyes. 

"i asked" she said amusedly "where do we put the dirty tablecloths?"   
"oh! sorry" peter said apologetically, leading her through various halls to a small room beside the kitchens.   
he pointed to the two expensive-looking washing machines in the middle of the space. 

"we can just shove the cloths in there, and then dry them after half an hour in there" he yelled over the cacophony of busy kitchen sounds and pointed to the tumbledryer in the corner.   
"also, we're welcome to clean our server's uniforms in here if we want" he said, and she smiled.   
"really? that's nice of them"   
"yeah, paprika told me maria has a reputation for her generosity" he chuckled. 

"clearly" replied willow, as she bundled the food-stained golden tablecloths into the nearest machine.   
peter helped her with the buttons, she clearly hadn't operated one before.   
"i like you a lot better than my other shiftmate" peter said suddenly. the boy had almost no filter. 

willow cocked her head. "are they an asshole?"   
"yep." peter said, popping the p. "she doesn't like me for some reason, which is absolutely atrocious as i am the human equivalent of a literal pot of gold at the end of a rainbow"   
"you know, you seem familiar" the brunette mused, her brown eyes boring into him. 

oh shit. uh.   
"really?" peter asked, making an effort to keep his tone nonchalant.   
she nodded thoughtfully.   
"well, you can never have too many peters in your life" he joked, standing. "also we have about ten minutes left of our shift" 

"ah. good " she said, taking his offered hand and joining him. "im bloody tired"   
peter felt relieved that she'd left the subject.   
"well, we wouldn't get paid so much to sit on our arses, would we?" he said lightly, and she laughed faintly. 

"good work today, guys" came a gruff voice behind them as the duo walked out into the main halls, and they turned to see the back of carlos walking swiftly away.   
"woah. c-slice gives out praise, does he?" peter remarked.   
"only when he's really impressed" paprika leaned in to mutter as he also passed. 

peter grinned and walked over to his bag, a slightly bemused willow beside him.   
the curly-haired teen cheerfully made to deposit the generous amount of tips he'd gotten today into the side pocket of his charcoal grey rucksack, but felt the avenger's eyes upon him.

he glanced up to see her looking at her own tips, a great deal smaller than peter's.   
"hey, not everyone can be such a cheery git like me all the time" peter reassured, zipping up the pocket tightly.   
"it's just my natural talent to be a sprightly little shit 24/7" 

willow laughed, and it again registered within peter's mind that he was talking casually with the scarlet witch. as himself. 

"true, you are quite..." she started, smirking.   
"ecstatic? jolly? exuberant? sunny?" he suggested, and she rolled her eyes, picking up her own bag and sliding on the straps.   
"elated? gleeful? jaunty? airy?" he continued, grinning evilly as he followed her down to the doors that led outside. 

"bubbly? glowy? happy-go-lucky? rAdiAnT-"   
"oh jesus, stop talking!" she yelled, smirking still. "do you ever shut up?"   
"not when I'm awake" peter said earnestly, and she giggled.   
his phone pinged then, and he saw a new message flashing on the screen from MJ on their groupchat . 

anythingforyoubeyonce: im gonna choke to death on the rancid fragrance of stale pizza

nednedned: lmao cN u bring me sum

anythingforyoubeyonce: hm maybe 

willow raised her eyebrow. "anything for you beyonce?"   
peter nodded eagerly. "yknow, it's a vine!"   
she looked a bit confused for a second, but then she aaah yessd  
"my.... freind showed me some I think. they're funny" she exclaimed.   
"yeah! anyway, a pleasure to work with you today, mademoiselle. looking forward to tommorow" peter said earnestly, offering his fist again. 

she grinned, bumping her fist against his. "I can hardly wait, parker"   
"til we meet again!" he called dramatically as he retreated down the path in the direction of his warehouse.   
she waved, smiling. 

peter clicked open his phone and started typing his response, negotiating meeting his friends tonight.   
the young teen beamed as he typed, the glow of his phone screen illuminating his face. he felt truly happy.   
and maybe, just maybe, he could get away with the whole double agent shit with the scarlet witch. 

maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe cute innit  
> OK goodnight my children's luvooo  
> <3<3<3<3<3


	12. cheesecake and origami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spidey reveals his hideout and his robotic companion to his pals, wanda and peter are fuckin brotp, and steve wears a thor apron and hulk oven mitts and cooks a lasagne.  
> typical avengers shit yknow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry, took me ages to upload.. I was slightly distracted by the fact I received one of the worst haircuts of my LIFE... its fine now, I look super bad but oh well.  
> c'est la vie.
> 
> anyway, enjoy bitches.

"so... yeah, this is it..." peter said awkwardly, not knowing quite what to do with his hands as he stood in his warehouse with MJ and ned ; he put them on his hips at first, but settled on shoving them deep in his grey skinny jeans.  
"it's not much, but it... ya know..its enough for me. i know it looks a bit shabby, and the area's not that nice, well, not well-to-do-"

"pete, it's fine!" MJ cut across his ramblings.  
"yeah, in fact, it's freaking awesome!" exclaimed ned, as he wandered over to peter's messy desk, admiring his nerdy setup.  
"did you.. build this yourself?" he asked, inspecting the collection of battered machines peter had constructed. ned prodded the washing machine with an impressed look.

"dude, if you think that's cool.." peter laughed, jogging over. "wait til you meet janet!"  
"janet?" the other boy queried, and peter opened his mouth but MJ cut across him yet again.  
"oh god, petey. you didn't build yourself a sex robot or something, did you?" she asked, wrinkling her nose.

"wha- why would- of course not!" peter stammered, flushing red.  
MJ and ned burst out laughing at his embarressment.  
"dude, im kidding" MJ deadpanned, smirking as she flicked his ear.  
peter scowled, rubbing his ear as he said dryly "very funny"  
she shrugged. "it's not unheard of. flash tried to order one from his account in the school library on an incognito tab"

peter cracked up as ned shook his head in disappointment.  
"i thought he was smarter than that" he said amusedly, still poking through peter's things.  
"anyway" peter said, cheerfully plucking a half-empty vial of chemicals out of ned's hand "say hi, janet"

"hello, peter's associates" janet said, her voice dry but amused as it issued from the speaker on the table by ned, who jumped back in shock, knocking over a box of things peter had scavenged from dumps   
"the HELL-" he gasped, and peter snickered.  
MJ, on the other hand, just looked mildly interested. barely anything fazed the legendary michelle jones.

"hello janet" she called, and the AI replied with "greetings, MJ. simply delighted to.. well, not make your acquaintance, per say.. but you look lit today"  
she looked impressed. "you can see us?"  
peter nodded, gesturing to the small camera on the nearest computer. "give her a wave."

MJ walked up and grinned into the webcam. "yoohoo, laptop lady"  
ned was still standing a few metres away, his mouth flapping open and closed.  
"yoohowdy, babe. and ned, dear, close your mouth, you'll attract flies" janet cooed, and MJ and peter burst out laughing as ned looked even more freaked out.

"i made her." peter explained, snatching up a few papers of his scribbled workings-out and codes and offering them to ned. "she's an AI, and she's really fucking useful on patrol. she can control everything in my suit, so she can phone for help should I ever need it-"  
"like you'd ever need help!" ned finally stuttered, still poring over peter's notes.  
peter smirked. "thanks, mate. but yeah, she's awesome."

"aww, shucks, boss. i can see ned here is an even bigger cheerleader for you than I am" janet said, and MJ turned to look into the camera again.  
"did he give you your attitude? cuz I find it endearing" she asked solemnly.  
"petey did all my coding, yeah. he made me pretty cool"  
"that you are, honey" MJ praised.

"MJ! stop flirting with peter's AI" ned scolded, and she shrugged.  
"might as well practise on someone- or something..." she said nonchalantly, flopping down in peter's squeaky swivel chair and propping her boots up on his cluttered desk.  
"I'm honoured, darling" the AI drawled, and peter facepalmed.  
"what have I done?" he whisper-yelled dramatically to ned, who grinned and clapped him on the shoulder.

"yeah, it's not bad" wanda said, helping herself to more tea from the pot, pouring a generous amount into the black mug she'd picked. "the boy im working with most of the week is nice. real funny, too"  
"that's great!" natasha said, smiling.  
"they're not working you too hard, are they?" steve asked worriedly, standing by the kitchen counter with his arms crossed, his serious expression slightly marred by the vibrant yellow thor apron he was wearing

"well" said wanda, sipping the warm drink. "i have never worked a job like this before, so it's the amount of work you'd expect"  
"and they don't mind about how you dissappear at random times?" steve continued.  
the worry lines in his forehead were beginning to look permanent, she thought.

"i dunno.. paprika is alright with it" wanda said thoughtfully.  
"paprika?" asked a voice amusedly, and wanda glanced up to see tony saunter in, complete with his usual pair of sunglasses, dishevelled hair and air of swagger.  
"he's my boss" wanda explained. "well, the nice one"

"right. I better be off, buck's waiting for me in the training room" natasha said, gracefully hopping down from the counter.   
"you just got back from a mission!" steve protested, and she shrugged.  
"no rest for the wicked!" she called as she walked off.  
"god I wanna be like her" wanda muttered, and steve smiled wryly before yelling "be back for dinner!"   
"what about me?" tony asked with a hurt voice at wanda's exclamation as he rummaged through the fridge. 

"you're alright" wanda said matter-of-factly, as steve scolded tony for getting a snack.  
"i dont care how hungry you are, metal man, dinner's in half an hour!" the blonde insisted, and tony retorted with "I need to eat more than the average man to retain my spectacular musclage and wisdom!"

wanda rolled her eyes and slipped off the bar stool by the counter, walking over and plopping herself down in a squishy armchair.  
she leaned forward, ignoring the men's squabbling behind her, and picked up a random book on the coffee table. she flicked through it lazily, but set it down when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

she fished it out and smiled when she saw the new message flashing on the screen.

origami: bro i am so tired aftr today

peter had nicked her phone during a break on their shift when she wasn't looking and added his number, naming himself origami.

they'd chosen nicknames for each other last week ; wanda chose origami for peter when she saw him casually fold a posh gold napkin into a swan out of boredom, peter named her cheesecake after discovering her strong passion for the dessert. 

wanda was grateful he hadn't stumbled upon any texts from her fellow avengers and discovered her identity. it was so nice having a friend her age, and she didn't want to mess it up.   
it hurt a little. he reminded her of pietro, but since everything reminded her of her deceased other half, it was fine. and this way she was remembering her brother whilst having fun, something wanda was sure he'd approve of

cheesecake: 😂 did u get all the sauce out of your pants?

origami: after fifteen minutes of vigerous scrubbing, i can proudly announce tht i got the stain out

cheesecake: god it was funny tho  
cheesecake: watching that asshole be forced to leave by carlos after he dumped a bowl of spaghetti on a waiter..

origami: carlos. my saviour with the nose stud. his dreamy green eyes will forever be my inspiration to persevere and succeed in life

cheesecake: wierdo

origami: only the finest for you, dear

cheesecake: hey what snacks should I bring for tmrw's break? cuz I'm getting tired of eating stale crisps from the vending machine

origami: well what snacks do u like

cheesecake: that's the point, I'm asking you

origami: no you

cheesecake: you're ridiculous ngl

origami: I repeat my statement with pride. only the finest for you

cheesecake: 🙄

origami: 😊 

"wanda! could you please lay the table?" tony called. he'd evidently lost the argument and was moodily putting a block of cheese back in the fridge.   
she nodded and walked over to the drawer with a slight smile on her face, grabbing knives and forks.   
"is it pasta?" she asked, smelling the tomatoey scents, but not seeing any pasta on the hob. 

"lasagne" steve answered, opening the sleek silver oven with his hulk oven mitts. a birthday present from clint to bruce, who was less pleased than the ecstatic tony and had decided to donate them to the main floor's kitchen.   
tony groaned under his breath, but steve heard him and flicked him with a tea towel. 

"it's going to be nice!" he insisted, passing a stack of plates to wanda. "i used fresh basil!"   
"ohh yes basil... that makes everything better" tony sang, and received a glare from the captain.   
"its going to be lovely, steve" wanda assured him, and kicked tony on the ankle when he muttered 'kiss-ass' 

"yo! is that lasagne?" a tinny voice rang out above them, and they glanced up to see blue eyes peeking out of the metal hatch.   
"clint, nice of you to show up-"   
"BARTON, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY VENT!" tony yelled across steve, shaking his fist in a comical way at the hatch.   
clint's metallic sniggers issued from over their heads, and the little hatch door popped open with a heavy clank. 

the archer leapt down with ease and sprinted off down the corridor, tony hot on his heels with loud strings of curses.   
"guys! GUYS! it's dinner, like now -" steve called hopelessly, turning to sigh and roll his eyes at wanda. she giggled as she filled up the jug of water.   
"JARVIS, could you please let everyone know that steve's made a nice dinner and if they don't get their arses down here in the next five minutes he's going to cry" she said loudly. 

"of course, little witch" the AI replied calmly, and she giggled at steve's unimpressed look.   
"i mean, I did pour my heart and soul into this..." he muttered as he started scooping up bits of lasagne and slopping them onto plates. "i wouldn't be surprised if tears were shed if it went unappreciated"   
wanda hummed in agreement as she sipped her water, checking her phone. 

origami: willow bruh my mate just said pistachio ice cream is better than mint choc chip, I feel betrayed 

she smiled, but felt a pang of guilt at the 'willow'. was it really fair to lie to her new friend? could she risk-  
"oh this smells amazing, cap!" called bruce as he joined them at the counter. she hadn't even heard him come up the stairs.   
"thanks, bruce" steve said, beaming as he placed the four massive dishes of food (superheroes eat a lot, okay) on the table, along with two bowls of salad. 

"its nice to have proper home-cooked food" the doctor said as he sat down at the table ; wanda hummed in agreement, it was a nice change from takeaways every evening, as tasty as they were.   
scuffling sounds came from the hall, and they all looked as natasha, her fiery red hair tied up in a neat ponytail and still wearing workout gear, dragged a struggling clint and tony in by their ears ; bucky and sam were following the trio with amused expressions. tony was still yelling strangled curses. 

"nat, really?" steve asked dryly, his blue eyes glittering with amusement though.   
she smirked and released them. "play nice, boys" she said sternly, before taking the seat beside wanda.   
"right. bon appetit, everyone" steve said excitedly as soon as they'd all settled down.   
bless him, wanda thought, as she looked at the glee on his face. he was like a big patriotic golden retriever. 

she smiled at the team's antics throughout dinner: currently natasha was stealing bits of mozzarella from a completely oblivious clint's plate, tony and bruce were yakking away about some complicated science shit that she wouldn't even attempt to understand, and bucky was carefully ripping up bits of lettuce and putting them in sam's hair, ignoring steve's disapproving glances. 

the team's antics. her family's antics. 

she couldn't be more proud of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hungry I'm always hungry


	13. the beaded bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and his pals chill for a bit, and he tries to stop a fight in the neighbourhood.
> 
> I am so sorry I abandoned this fic fr so long lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... guess who's back
> 
> back again  
> bet yall missed me HAH  
> also this chapter contains the f slur if you're not comfortable with that :)

a couple of weeks had passed and peter was at his best : due to the streets of NY being relatively quiet with not a lot of crime going on he'd had a lot of time to sleep and work on rebuilding his social life, as well as pouring effort into his job for more tips. 

peter was slowly building up more and more strength too! paprika had allowed him to take home takeaway leftover food from the kitchens that was going spare, and peter relished at the chance to eat delicious, professionally cooked food for free.  
just last night him and 'willow' had sat together outside the restaurant at the end of their shift, scarfing down plump pieces of lightly seasoned salmon as they religiously watched vine compilations. 

the strength that peter rediscovered only boosted his confidence, and made him cheerier than ever. he marveled at how easy it was for him to flip several times whilst swinging, how easy it was to accomplish crazy jackie chan shit without exerting himself. 

currently the curly - haired teenager was nodding his head to some music MJ was blasting from her speakers in his warehouse (not so loud that it hurt his ears tho) as he scooped up bits of rubbish and cleared up the corner of the room.   
MJ and ned had offered to help him clean the place up a bit, he'd been a slob for far too long.   
"why do you even have this?" ned asked curiously, and peter glanced round to see him holding a plastic bag filled with bottle caps. 

peter shrugged nonchalantly. "I like things" he said simply, resuming in his shovelling cans into his bin bag.   
MJ snorted. "at least you're not one of those like obsessive hoarders, yknow?"   
"what's wrong with them??" peter protested, sitting back on his heels to pout at the girl.   
"oh come on! it's wierd, and i heard once that this guy got crushed under all of his stuff in his house. I mean, it was piled like THIS high..." MJ stretched out her arm fervently. 

"it's not wierd, it's just a hobby" ned murmered as he picked his way through the random boxes of scavenged bits.   
peter grinned at him, and yelled over the music. "what's this song called?"   
"I'm not a vampire" MJ replied, dipping her sponge in the bucket of soapy water.   
"sounds pleasant" ned deadpanned, grimacing at the sudden vomiting noise issuing from the speakers. he caught peter's gaze and snickered. falling in reverse was certainly a different band to the ones peter usually listened to 

"can we have that chill one? like it was a bit dark but it was nice and laid back" peter asked thoughtfully as he scrambled to his feet and jogged over to the table, snatching up a slice of greasy pizza supplied by michelle.   
"the deathbed one?" MJ asked, but ned got there first, peter's mouth crammed full of pizza.   
"nah, he means that bodybag one... wierd lyric one" 

peter snapped his fingers and nodded, and MJ thought for a second.   
"ohhhh! waynewood! yeah, I get you" she exclaimed, before turning to the monitor.   
"can you play bodybags by waynewood, please janet?"   
"of course" janet replied, and the song's melancholy beats started playing through michelle's speakers. 

"what's this, pete?" ned asked, holding up a faded, scruffy-looking bunny rabbit toy, an opened little leather box beside him   
peter opened his mouth and closed it, not really sure what to say.   
"it's... that's kinda... it was.." he stammered.   
at his reluctance to answer, MJ ceased in her scrubbing to look at him quizzically and worriedly.   
"it was may's. she made it a while ago for me to... comfort me when my parents... you know. ive kept it as safe as I could" he got out, his voice suddenly thick with emotion. 

ned immediately cradled it with more care, a look of pained sympathy on his face as he approached peter.   
"she'd be so glad of how you've turned out, pete. you're fucking awesome! you help so many people and you've impacted so many lives" ned said sincerely, carefully handing the rabbit to peter, who took it slowly. 

"what he said." MJ said dryly, her face concerned and emotional though. "we're here for you"   
"i also second that" janet piped up, having paused the music.   
peter smiled wetly, wiping his face with his hoodie sleeve, giggling slightly when he noticed the mess of biscuit crumbs on ned's shirt. "you got a little something...."   
ned glanced down and chuckled, swiping the crumbs away.   
"thank you guys so much" peter mumbled, and set may's toy down carefully on the table before ned barrelled into him, wrapping the teen in his arms tightly. 

"MJ! GET IN HERE" ned's muffled voice issued from where his face was buried in peter's more muscly- than- bony shoulder.   
"i... ugh. fine." MJ sighed, slouching forward and allowing herself to be tugged into the cuddle. 

"i would participate in the group hug, guys, but I really don't think embracing a computer screen would be particularly beneficial to your saturday" janet spoke, and peter snickered.   
"you're here in spirit, janet" peter comforted, shooting finger guns at the monitor. 

when janet played real gun sound effects suddenly, ned was startled yet again as he toppled backwards into a shelf, tipping a load of science textbooks they'd just spent an hour organising on to the freshly scrubbed floor.   
peter and MJ burst out laughing as they helped a cursing ned up.

"she's enthusiastic, isn't she" ned muttered, and MJ threw the computer a fond glance. "that she is"  
peter rolled his eyes, and picked up the empty pizza box.  
"we seem to be out of fuel" peter commented sadly, but MJ shook her head and grabbed her rucksack, violently shaking it upside down. peter and ned exchanged amused glances as her battered possessions spilled out , but whistled in appreciation as two other pizza boxes clattered onto the table.

"how the potato chicken fuck did you fit them in there?" peter asked at the same time as ned yelled "IT'S THE BEADED BAG!"  
"the what now?" peter asked confusedly, mouth already full with food again, munching avidly.  
"the beaded bag! hermione's bag!!.... harry potter!" ned gasped, offended.  
".... oh yeah" peter mumbled, and MJ eyed the food spraying everywhere with distaste.

"you gotta keep your energy up, parker" she said, nudging his shoulder. "lots of superheroing to do"  
"there's not a lot right now, actually" peter said after swallowing. "there's been a few muggings but other than that the streets have been relatively quiet."

"huh" MJ stated, rubbing her eyes tiredly.  
"oh yeah, sorry. you guys should get some sleep, you probably have stuff to do" peter apologised.  
"nah, im just not used to getting up so early" ned grumbled, tugging on his jacket as MJ started shoving her stuff back in her poor, poor backpack.

"give that poor thing a rest, michi" janet sang, and MJ glared at the monitor. only janet was allowed to call her michi, a nickname the AI had spent a surprising amount of time choosing. she had wanted it to be 'perfect'.   
bless janet. 

"it can take it" she insisted, as she violently zipped up the bag, pausing momentarily to struggle as it caught on a little hole on the material.  
"mm hmm" janet replied, and peter and ned grinned.  
"anyway, il see you guys tommorow at 7?" peter confirmed, and the others nodded.  
"see ya, parker"  
"toodleoo, petey!"  
peter returned ned's enthusiastic thumbs up.

an hour later, peter had finished rearranging his boxes and cleaning the floor, and he sat back, mentally exhausted. his mind wasn't very good at focusing on one thing for too long, unless it was science. science was amazing.  
"hey boss, the microwave pinged two minutes ago" janet reminded him, and he grinned and leapt to his feet, careful not to knock over any of the carefully balanced boxes.

"thanks, j" he said, as he grabbed the popcorn out of the little box eagerly. an odd choice for breakfast, but he could do what he wanted.  
"how long has my suit been drying now?" he asked, nodding to where his damp suit was spread out  
"6 hours and 17 minutes" janet answered, and he hummed in thought.  
"do you reckon it'll be dry by tonight?" he asked, thinkin about the patrol later.

another couple of hours later and peter had returned from his patrol, which had only been stopping a couple of masked criminals and saving a middle-aged woman from being run over. it was nice having so much energy.  
peter sighed tiredly, more than ready for bed. he stretched his arms, feeling the joints pop, and flopped onto his mattress.  
he'd only been laying there for a minute or two until janet reluctantly interrupted his peace

"sorry to bother you pete, but it's getting a bit messy outside"  
peter groaned and dragged himself off the mattress. a month ago he was this tired constantly, but now he wasn't used to it and he wanted to nAP.

" s no trouble, babe" he mumbled as he pulled his trainers and sweats on, along with an oversized t shirt that had a periodic table with the words : "I wear this shirt periodically, but only when I'm in my element"  
he had taste like that.

peter popped his head out of the little hatch in the ceiling, cocking his ear and concentrating on making out the faint words that were lost in the windy evening.   
"-MINE, BACK THE FUCK OFF-"   
"calm the fuck down-"   
"-not even YOUR PAINT-"   
oh jeez. the arty homeless kids tended to be the most emotional and the quickest to rile up.

peter used the advantage of the darkness to quickly leap down from the warehouse, landing on the curb and jogging down the road, the chilly night breeze tousling his hair.  
he rounded the corner and grimaced at the sight of a gang of teenagers, all yelling furiously at each other.   
peter recognised a few of the local vandalists (some a lot nicer than others) with their paint stained clothes and some others he didn't know.

as he neared, some of the few who'd obviously recognised peter as the big bad neighbourhood superfreak visibly tensed and backed away.   
the kids that actually knew him for who he was looked relieved though, and ian, a laidback teen with dreadlocks jogged over to meet him.  
"-fighting over spray paint again, it was stupid of jack to even start the whole territory thing, but the issue is this dick kylon-" he yelled over the wind and the screaming, and peter sighed in understanding. 

the young mutant marched forward, and soon his presence had made most of the fighting die down - some even smiled at him.  
" what's the problem here, chaps? "he asked brightly, shoving his hands in his pockets to warm them.  
"what's the problem?" a big burly teenager with clenched fists and a leather jacket repeated, outraged at the interruption. you got the problem, bruh"

peter raised his eyebrows. "don't think I do" he said matter-of-factly, and the teenager towering over him snorted.  
"you better fucking leave, freak. we're a bit busy, see" he snarled, obviously squaring up.  
"I'd rather not. such a lovely evening. good weather for a stroll in the park, wouldn't you think?" peter said airily, still grinning brightly.

"i dont think you heard me, man. SCRAM!" the taller boy spat, clearly pissed that he wasn't having an effect on peter.

peter snickered, casting a 'really?' look at the girl beside him, who was a familiar face. what was her name? holly? oh yeah, hannah. she'd helped him stop brawls a number of times.  
hannah grinned back, but nudged him so he looked back at the thug, who was now shrugging off his jacket and showing off his muscles. 

"hey, man. why you so mad anyway?" peter asked sincerely, still stood there. he could easily take him in a fight if he needed to.   
ian stepped forward bravely, and muttered over the whistling wind "cmon kylon, it was just some cans of paint. there's more to life-"   
"shut the fuck up, you fucking-"   
"fan of the f words, aren't you?" peter interrupted, smirking infuriatingly. "my favourite word begins with f actually, guess what it is!" 

kylon growled and began to start forwards, ignoring the other protesting teenagers, some warning him, others probably just tired of his antics.   
"is it..... faggot?" kylon sneered, his face close to peter's.   
peter's smile faltered, his cheeriness soured by this brute's attitude. of course this twat had to act up on such a tiring day. 

"surprisingly, its not. its actually fabergé. and please don't use that word, nylon" he said calmly, still not backing down as kylon leered.   
peter heard some of the friendlier teenagers from the rough area sniggering at his cool response, and kylon had had enough. 

the air moved as he lunged, shrieking in a comical way as he threw himself forward. peter rolled his eyes at hannah and ian and easily sidestepped. this continued for a few minutes, peter attempting to reason with this jerk while said jerk threw punch after punch.   
kylon had obviously started to tire, his already exaggerated movements getting sloppy, and he panted as he finally drew back. his mates seized the opportunity to grab his beefy arms and steer him away to where some of them had gotten out cans of drink. 

"better not see your face around here, freak!" kylon persisted, yelling back at him. peter chuckled. "see, that might be difficult. would you like me to wear a motorbike helmet so you won't have to swoon at my handsome features?"   
ian grinned at the receding figures, then turned to thank him, but hannah got there first.

"thanks man" she said, fist-bumping him with her fingerless glove. "not sure my approach would have been so... placating"   
"s good" peter said, keen to get back to his warm bed. "see you around, guys"   
"wait, you don't wanna stay? you could have some stuff with us, yknow" ian pleaded, and peter was pleasantly surprised they wanted to talk to him. 

"i dont touch that stuff, but thanks. another time we could hang out maybe" peter said awkwardly, and they smiled and nodded.   
"see ya, freak" hannah said, smirking, and ian waved as peter shot them finger guns and retreated down the alley. 

god, he was tired. his vocal chords were holding up surprisingly well these couple of months with the sudden uplift in talking, but right now his throat hurt and he wanted to sleep.

peter mumbled a hello to janet before stripping out of his clothes and jumping onto his mattress, sighing deeply into the material. he was fast asleep in seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it was a bit boring, I'm trying to get back into writing, had a shit time so ye I stopped but now I'm gonna try again even tho I have so much more work.... oop


	14. all those damn hormones, innit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> petey has a nightmare... things happen.
> 
> wanda is a good mate.
> 
> heavy heavy angst btw also tw for attempted rape and sort of self harm..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is like rly heavy bc we're finally taking a look-see into our boy's traumatic past.  
> so ye pls don't read if ur affected by this sort of stuff
> 
> also yes I'm sorry I've been gone for months LOCKDOWN DEPRESSION INNIT also sixth-form kicking my arse

"eter! PETER!!"  
peter choked and gasped as he shot up in his bed, panting and sweating as he struggled to take in the usually comforting surroundings of his dimly lit warehouse.   
"you were having a nightmare, pete" he heard janet say, her artificial voice tinged with worry. "you were yelling"  
peter's mouth flapped open and closed as he struggled to get his pulse under control, dazed and confused by the hurricane of sensations he was experiencing.

jumbled fragments of memories swirled about in a soup in his mind..his uncle bleeding in the street, gasping....the smashed photograph of him and his parents...aunt may being carried away on a stretcher as he screamed and tried to fight his way to her...

he realised he had yet to answer his AI, so he stammered out a quick "y-yeah, I'm fine, just tired-"  
peter trailed off when he noticed faint dark stains on his sheets, and after asking janet with a trembling voice to turn the lights on, saw that it was blood.   
peter glanced down at the source:  
his bare arms contained many gashes, what would have been scratches were long bloody lines that dripped down his wrists.  
he'd obviously been clawing at himself in his sleep..goddamn his strength.

"why don't you text michi or ned?" janet suggested, and he rubbed his face, mind fuzzy and arms stinging.  
"no, no. i'm fine" he panted, crawling across the mattress and slowly reaching for his phone on the table to check the time

he didn't need to bother his friends. over something as small and stupid as a bad dream?  
the light illuminated his face, and peter squinted and turned down the brightness.  
3:39 am.  
peter's hands shook as he set the phone down again, trying not to give in and think about the dark thought that was begging for his attention at the back of his head.

"I really think you should talk to a freind" janet urged again, but he waved her off to go grab his shoes.  
peter ignored the blood still trickling down his arms, knowing the wounds would seal very soon, and tugged on a shirt.

why did people have to bleed so much.

he needed to clear his head, and also clean up.  
six minutes later peter had reached his destination, the small shower block that he used frequently. luckily the toilets and the sinks and everything were free for anyone to use, and due to peter's arrival in the area the conditions were considerably cleaner and better.

the teen did have a small portable toilet at home but it wasn't much a barrel of laughs getting rid of the bags of piss when it was easier to just jog a few blocks and use the public ones.  
petey splashed water on his face before scrubbing his arms clean of blood. he ignored how he didn't wince, putting the thought to the back of his head to join the other ones that would come back later to haunt him.

after he was finished calming down, he stepped out onto the dark street with the sounds of cars and late night teenagers shrieking.  
peter opted to run back rather than walk, so his worrying thoughts wouldn't assault him just yet.  
he was nearing his block when he heard a faint yell, and peter stopped in his tracks, turning toward the sound as he had done many times when dealing with alleyway muggings and the like.

he followed the sound, focusing on his hearing as his trainers slammed against the ground, his pyjama trousers looking very odd indeed as he burst into the situation.  
a young man with short red hair was sobbing and screaming as he was pressed against the wall by a big beefy brute who held a large knife in his grip, and a large bottle of drink in the other.  
peter's heart sank as he noticed the poor man's state of unwilling undress, and the cold sneer on the attacker's face as he stood there with his jeans unbuttoned.

something within peter darkened as he started forward, rage filling him and fighting violently for control of his actions. this motherfucker picked the wrong night to try and rape this guy.  
" get the ffuck outta heree.." the man nearest him slurred, clenching the knife tighter and waving it at the still approaching boy with thunder in his expression.

peter glanced down at the red-haired dude for a second, just for him to whisper "p-please help.."

something snapped.

peter charged like an enraged bull enticed by a crimson flag, flipping over a wheelie bin that the startled man shoved his way in panic as he scrambled to get away.  
peter was aware of the redhead falling to the ground in shock, sobbing and shaking as he struggled to get his trousers back on.   
the teenage boy reached his victim, who was now cowering against the wall, flourishing his knife like a laser pointer.

peter felt nothing. he felt nothing as he lifted the 300 pound criminal and slammed him against the bricks, felt nothing as the man shrieked and spat in his face, felt nothing as the blade sliced into his chest.  
the man yelling drunkenly in triumph and the guy behind him screaming was drowned out by the blood pounding in his ears.  
peter struggled to regain control of the rage monster that wanted to break the man's pathetic spine and think logically.  
turn the man into the authorities, his logical side reasoned tentatively, and peter breathed heavily as he swiftly knocked him out with a punch.

peter parker didn't even notice the young redhead screaming at him and tugging at his shirt until he shook his shoulders roughly, his wide-eyed expression of utter terror coming into sight as he lifted his head.  
"MBULANCE!! WHERE'S YOU- WHO CAN I CALL?? YOU NEED TO-" he shrieked brokenly, still tugging at his shirt, gazing fearfully at the stab wound where even more blood poured from.

peter finally snapped to his senses, once again shoving down the feelings for later as he jumped to his feet.  
"sorry, sorry, bit out of it. are you okay?" he asked seriously, placing a comforting hand on the man's shoulder as he stared at him in disbelief.  
"am i- YOU'VE BEEN STABBED!" he gasped hoarsely, gesturing at his chest, but pete shook his head, a faint smile gracing his features. wounds were less serious now his healing was up to parr.

"its alright. I heal very fast. got it from the best gene pool ever" peter soothed, slowly prising the man's fingers from his shirt and sliding him down the wall into a sitting position, but away and out of sight from his attacker.  
"b-but-" he stuttered. peter grinned and lifted his shirt. without a second thought, he wiped away the red and the man gasped as he saw the wound closing slowly but surely.  
"see, it's okay. everything is okay now" peter promised, and he knew from the ginger's eyes that he understood his double meaning. "it's over"

they stayed huddled against the wall for a few minutes, peter holding the poor guy close as he sobbed brokenly into his shoulder, clutching at him like he was an anchor in the sea.  
what an absolute tidepod of a human being, peter thought with disgust as his head began to clear, the numbness ebbing away and the pain starting to burn a hole in his chest.  
"t-thank you" the man whispered, and peter just smiled down at him as he sat there, shaking from both adrenalin and cold.  
"no worries. im terribly sorry you had to experience such a fucked up thing" peter said lowly as he wrinkled his nose at the slumped figure of the man against the wall.

"w-what an asshole" the redhead spat, his voice breaking as he cursed the man, and peter nodded in agreement. "he's like that extra chip you find in the bottom of your fast food bag. yknow, those ones that are cold and soggy and stale"  
"o-or one of those p-pricks that take their shoes AND socks off on a plane" the man added with a shaky laugh, and peter chuckled.  
for another half hour they sat there in the cold, coming up with funnier and funnier insults.   
peter was glad he could help.

wanda hummed and stirred the powder into her drink, rubbing her eyes as she did so.  
it was half four in the morning and she hadn't slept much, owing to the fact she'd been up the previous night reading, like the twat she was.  
the brunette yawned loudly as she set her chocolatey spoon by the sink and picked up her drink, only to nearly drop it when a familiar voice suddenly greeted her.  
"are you humming the doctor who theme tun-"  
"JESUS!" wanda yelped and cursed as she spilled half of her chocolate milk on her pyjama shirt.  
"oh...oops" the archer said cheekily as he poked his head out of the vent, upside down. "sorry. im not jesus, unfortunately. if I was I'd get people to pay me to give them piggybacks across the hudson river..."

the assassin trailed off as wanda glared at him and she wiped her shirt. "yknow, cause of the whole walking on water thing..?"  
"why are you up this early?" wanda asked, amused and exasperated.   
"early bird gets the worm" clint replied cheerily, as he dropped agiley out of the vent and gave her a cheeky lopsided grin.  
"he didn't this morning" came an echoey voice, issuing from further down the ceiling. clint scowled as natasha, wearing workout gear like clint, also dropped into the kitchen.  
she blew a strand of hair out of her face and smiled at wanda. "he missed the last shot"  
"you distracted me!" clint protested. "you asked me to list my favourite ice cream flavours in chronological order! I totally would've made that shot-"

"of course, clinton" nat said dryly and wanda chuckled.   
"is that chocolate milk??" clint jumped at the chance to change the subject, nodding enthusiastically at wanda's dripping mug.  
she nodded, and he vaulted over the counter and grabbed another cup from the cupboard, knocking over a cereal box in his way.  
"I thought you were meant to be a master assassin" wanda stated dryly as clint poured three times the normal amount of chocolate powder.  
he glared at her, and she giggled.

nat opened her mouth to ask something, but wanda's phone suddenly went off, her rock music ringtone blasting and disturbing the peaceful morning atmosphere.   
she grinned apologetically at natasha; the woman just smiled and gestured for her to answer.  
the name 'origami' flashed as the caller, and wanda's eyes narrowed imperceptibly (well, imperceptible if you weren't a certain russian spy with flaming red hair and a secret phobia of dogs) as peter had never called her before. and at this time??

wanda thumbed the green button and walked away from the others. "hey, pete-"   
"illow! I'm so sorry for calling so late- well, early, actually, if you- but that doesn't- yeah. I shouldn't have rung but- oh, hang on..."  
"you okay?" she asked tentatively, ignoring clint's confused look.  
"yeah, yeah, fine, absolutely...well..yeah, great.."  
there were sounds of cars honking in the background, so he was clearly out in the city at night-ish.  
"you sure?" wanda said worriedly, again ignoring clint who was now pretending the counter was a bongo set and nat slapping his arm behind her as she turned to gaze out the window.

"yeah yeah. I hope I didn't wake you up did I? I don't think I did, you answered very quickly, and I don't think-  
"hey peter, would you mind slowing down for me?" wanda chuckled, trying not to let her concern seep into her voice.   
he was acting REALLY wierd.  
"oh god, sorry, sorry, I just, I talk a lot when...yeah" peter said awkwardly. "just...i wanted to talk to someone. hasn't been the.. the best night"  
wanda bit her lip as his voice shook subtly. "is everything okay? are you safe? it sounds like you're out right now"  
"yeah, just clearing my head" peter said quickly.  
"clearing it of what, may I ask?"  
"just...uh..teenage angst, yknow. all those damn hormones, innit"  
wanda tried to keep her voice light. "know it too damn well"  
"ahaha"peter said weakly, some sort of attempt at a laugh; wanda was really freaked out now.

"where are you may I ask? want me to come meet you?" wanda asked, and heard peter breath heavily down the other end.  
for a few seconds the line was silent, peter probably debating whether to let 'willow' in to whatever problem he was having .  
"uhh if that's.. if its not a problem. sorry, you're probably busy and we even have work today and.."  
"don't worry about it" wanda said solemnly as she waved off the assassin's confused looks and started down the hall to her room. "I'll just get a jacket, don't think I should risk hypothermia"  
peter immediately started up apologising for inconveniencing her and she rolled her eyes.

"dude. its fine. im low-key worried bout you so text me where you are, yeah? ok, ill see you soon"  
"thanks willow. you're the best" peter gushed, and though wanda still felt that twinge of guilt when she heard the fake name she was glad his voice was slightly more like himself.

twenty minutes later peter had changed out of his bloody shirt and was sat on a wall outside some neighbourhood a few blocks away from his warehouse. he was nervously bouncing his leg and trying not to wince when each gust of wind or breeze twinged his healing wounds.  
this was stupid. it was so late, why would he ask wanda to meet him? why did he have to meet a friend at all?  
to be fair peter was sort of appeasing a worried sick janet, who had called both MJ and ned despite his protests, both who were busy. MJ was at her uncle's and ned was deeeep in work for his assignment.

"janet" peter had pleaded ten minutes earlier, peeling off his shirt spattered with blood and tossing it on the floor. " im fine"  
"bro. your vitals indicate you're suppressing three times the emotional distress you weaklings should tolerate!!!"  
"weaklings? that's new. i liked puny human beans" peter murmered, trying to change the subject with his robot ally.  
"don't get snarky with me, sunshine" janet warned. "now get the hecc out and treat yourself to a nice cuddle. a good hug oughta lower your stress. and while you're at it, why don't you unload some baggage?"  
peter did what could only be described as a 'harrumph' as he tugged on a blue hoodie and climbed out of the warehouse, moving tentatively as so not to jostle his chest.

ten minutes later peter spotted a rogue drinks can that came skittering down the tarmac in the wind.  
making sure no one was looking, the teen shook back his sleeves (ow) and webbed the piece of litter with a 'thwip!' before expertly flicking it into a dustbin.  
blimey its cold, peter thought as he stared at a ghastly flashing neon sign by a corner shop, desperate to think any thoughts but the dark ones. he normally never noticed when he was dashing about on the streets or swinging.

"peter?"   
the boy in question looked down and mustered a weak grin, instantly leaping down off the wall without thinking.  
"agh-" peter yelped as he clutched his chest, stumbling. an alarmed wanda- no, willow- steadied him and leaned him against the wall.  
"god, you okay? what's the matter? she asked worriedly, and peter very nearly slapped on an expression of indifference and made up a lie, but he found he couldn't when he was staring into willow's eyes.  
"I...umm.." he stammered, pushing his hair back. "nnnnnothin..."  
willow narrowed her eyes, taking her hand off his arm.(ow ow)"sure sounds like nothing.."

"is that...chocolate milk..?" peter asked desperately, trying to redirect attention as he gestured to her shirt.  
"peeeteer" willow complained, giving him a steely look.  
peter smiled sheepishly. "sorry-"  
"if you keep apologising i will be forced to do something drastic, parker" willow warned, and peter winced.  
wait, why did he wince....oh. she'd said 'parker'. his bleedin family name.  
of all nights, why was he so bloody distracted by everything??  
unfortunately willow had noticed his cringe as she blew a strand of hair out her mouth and folded her arms.

"seriously, peter, what's up?" she asked pleadingly.  
the amazing spiderman stared into the scarlet witch's eyes, and his feeble composure drained away like the blood had on that street years ago.

peter told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ssssssorry  
> and Peters not telling wanda about him being spiderman btw, just his... issues
> 
> hope u liked :))

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading :))  
> comment any reqs for interactions below x


End file.
